Frustration, frustration.....

..so there I was on Tuesday morning sitting at a meeting in Cheltenham..one I had travelled a fair way to attend, and one in which I hoped to make a valuable contribution. I started off voicing my opinion..feeling assertive, my opinion is as good as anyone else's, I have confidence in my contribution..but when the chair carries on as if you haven't spoken, and constantly asks everyone else's opinion, then sums up and makes a decision leaving my contribution out..well, one's assertiveness starts to crumble....

Then, when he acknowledged someone else's contribution on another subject, and left me out again, despite having been reminded on previous occasions of my involvement..and two or three people at the table were kind enough to say. ''and Sally...' I found myself saying, 'Look, you either accept that I am round the table here or I may as well go home.'..rather sharply, and heard several intakes of breath round the table...

To give the chair his due, he paused, said, 'Um...I've lost my thread now...' and then carried on as if nothing had happened. But...he did start to give me eye contact for the rest of the meeting..so something worked. And then we had lunch together in the pub after as if nothing had happened. Nothing was said. How terribly British.....but...I said my bit. And it needed to be said.

My other frustration, apart from my secretary still being away and my colleague taking half term off, so I am on my own this week trying to deal with a million things apart from what I should be, ie volunteers and families...the Internet is still down, my newsletter is nearly two weeks late..so i bring it home to do on my laptop last night because I have internet connection and can therefore access clipart as I work.......

Except for last night..the broadband was too slow, nothing worked, the clip art wouldn't download, my document kept crashing and I couldn't access any web sites....I worked out it was somehow the fault of Valentine's day and the world and his wife/girlfriend/mistress was on-line. B*gger to all of them (bah humbug) but it made me turn the pc off at 10pm before I blew a fuse, and I had an early night.

This morning, I have sat up in bed and worked for a hour or so, internet is back to normal, clip art accessed.

Will I get all my work done today? No. Because James, who hurt his back in Hong Kong flew out to Italy yesterday and his back went again on the plane..he has spent 24 hours in the hotel airport unable to move, didn't go to the factories to see the upholstery for his furniture..and has been put in a wheel chair and on to a plane home this morning..you can imagine how the phone call from him yesterday added to my stress...I felt so helpless...but today I am driving to Stanstead to bring him home....

The other thing I did to help was to ring the hotel in the Cotswolds to cancel his booking for a romantic weekend away with A. He told her before he left Weds morning. She was so excited. Not going to happen this weekend.....as I said, frustration, frustration.....