Thursday, September 29, 2005

Doesn't time fly.....

..when you're having fun? It's been so long since I blogged that the sysstem wouldn't let me in without me entering my user name and password, and it's taken several goes for me to get them right!

Anyway, here I am! Where have I been since August 18th, whihc is about when I last blogged. Well, I went to Greenbelt! Away from home for 10 days, working on the Front Desk and enjoying the best festival for quite a few years... I feel such a part of a close family now, such good friends, I haven't laughed so much all year..really...and boy, did I need it. Leaving site at the end of the festival made me feel very sad.....so much more to say, so many more hugs to give..so much of the festival I didn't see!

When I got home I found the internet wasn't working, no access to e-mails or to blogs, which only increased my sense of isolation. Several phone calls to ntl later..some of the time I was talking to Wales, sometimes India, after 10 days they decided we needed a new modem and went one in the post..three days later, by which time we were leaving for two weeks in Greece.....and I had desperate withdrawal syptoms, no festival, no friends all around and a buggered modem...not a good week!

Needed my session with my bereavement counsellor on the Friday after GB, so much sadness welled up about so many things...took myslef to the doctor on Monday because of having horrible heart palpitations..got very upset while in there, and the doctor was so lovely - young and good looking of course, I really wanted to have his babies..I can be extremely upset and suicidal but still manage to think..oh, I fancy you......what am I like? Don't answer that! Well, I have to have a heart check up and lots of blood tests (when I get round to it) but basically he doesn't think there's much wrong with me that a good course of anti-depressants wouldn't cure! I agreed to give a new batch a try, having had foul tablets at easter that I abandoned after two weeks. So I have been on this lot for three weeeks now, and am feeling much better, but then again, I have beem to Greece for two weeks and lain in the sun......that might have helped!!

Anyway, time for bed, more catching up tomorrow. Hope you are pleased I am back.....