What happened next?

(Bit of information..while DC was in the office, he gave me a sample business card he had produced on the pc -Blue Peter style, 'here is one I made earlier..' and the file on a memory stick so I could find a printer to print us a thousand. Remember this.....)

I got into Hemel and the road I wanted but no industrial estate appeared where it should have. I drove a bit. And a bit more. Ended up in the middle of Hemel and almost out onto the M1. Lost. Now only 30 mins before courier closes....I pulled into a layby and looked at the map on the printed card...(have I mentioned the contact lens saga? No, well I have new lenses, and the vision is a bit of a compromise, and mostly ok but small print is a problem...remember this...) well the map is so tiny I have no chance of reading it or the road names, and of course I never have reading glasses with me...but there is a phone number..I will ring and say where the ***** are you. I ring..it is a recorded system for the courier....a national system...bugger..I press all the right buttons to talk to the right people and then am asked to put in consignment number..I insert it into the key pad..please let me speak to a human...I am then asked for the post code of the delivery address..I insert my office number..the system fails to recognise it, try again..bugger bugger they think DC's house is the delivery address don't they?? Rage and frustration erupts as I realise I don't know DC's bl**dy post code (why would I? I just know where he lvies) so I give up on the phone call, that's wasted 10 mins of my life and time is ticking away.....

I ring DC who has only made it as far as Harpenden and is stuck in traffic. I ask him for the number of the Hemel depot, he panics and can't remember it, he pulls over and starts to open his laptop to search, then suddenly remembers it will be in his phone as he rang them earlier. he gives me the number, I ring and a nice girlie talks me through heading back to Redbourn, and yes I had been on the right road, but the industrial estate isn't off it directly, you turn up a tiny unmarked country lane, Cherry Tree lane, and yes, there it is, so WHY THE f***** DON'T THEY HAVE SIGN TO IT???? Oh yes, writing this blog is bringing the stress back nicely...

I get to the depot, 10 mins before closing and stand in line with my card. Stress is calming, I have made it and all shall be well..I am brought out of my dreams by the sound of Blokey saying, to woman in front, 'Sorry it says clearly on the card, further ID required. Sorry I can't release your parcel.' He indicates a large notice on the wall with the words, 'Driving licence, passport, utility bill required.' Woman in front looks fed up, the trouble is if he refuses me my parcel I will probably kill him...I have one customer space of time to be calm and work out how I blag this. Because blag it I will. I am not leaving without this software.

I have my driving licence but of course it is my name and address, and their deliver address is DC. I have nothing. It is my turn. I hand in the card and Blokey goes out the back to fetch parcel. I remember the home made business card DC produced earlier and have it in my hand ready, together with a long argument of how they have messed up, I have waited in all day for this, I am not leaving , get the manager, do you know who I am etc etc. Blokey comes back with parcel. 'ID please'. I hand over the business card and open my mouth to challenge refusal of parcel, and he says, 'That's fine, it's a business address.' and hands over the parcel. Mouth opens and shuts. Sally leaves before he checks ink isn't quite dry on the home made business card. You know, it shouldn't be that easy..I might complain about the lack of security.....

I ring DC and declare myself the winner..he has made it as far as Luton and is stuck in traffic. I am on my way home, arriving at 6.45pm. David arrives back an hour and a quarter later!!! 8pm!! With laptops.

I am exhausted recounting this story..why on earth don't I just say, 'After a few problems, DC and I have the laptops and software.' Wouldn't that make life much easier? And my blogs less detailed.

Well, I'd like to say 'And they had their laptops and they all lived happily ever after.' But if course, it is not a simple as that...there were tears..if not before bedtime, certainly next morning.....