Stayed in bed reading while Clive went to church..although I was left with the instruction that it might be good to tidy up a bit as his mother was coming for lunch..quite true...James came and found me in my room, after my shower, and yes, I was crying.....let's face it, the depression hasn't gone away, but usually I can hide it from my kids...he hugged me and said he missed grandma and grandpa too....I couldn't say, actually, this isn't really about them it's about me feeling cr*p, so I didn't, which makes me feel dishonest.
Bless him he made me coffee and toast, and we talked in the garden before I set to doing some cleaning and tidying. Clive was going to fetch his mum after church, but as he came home feeling decidedly dizzy and wobbly and sick, he went to bed and James set off for Hillingdon. I cleared and washed the kitchen floor, made raspberry brulee (yum), hoovered, then changed and looked radiant for mum in law and children's arrival!
We sat in the garden and had a lvoeyl bbq, thanks to Mec's bbq skills (it's a blokey thing) and the raspberry brulee went down very well. I even managed time on the sun lounger to read my book and have a snooze! Clive and his mum went to church (again, I feel such a heathen) and having spoken to a friend on the phone and just got upset, I went for a dog walk with Jill, and cried most of the time. Jill is a lovely friend whom I have known for twenty years now, and she doesn't cry. She can't do it. Never has. How she puts up with me I'll never know!!!!
Persuaded Clive, who was feeling better, to take his mum home and stay there the night, save him driving back again at 6.30am, and went to church with James - not for a service but for him to practise his best man'' speech for next weekend. He is incredibly nervous, given his vocal problems, but he has written a good one, very funny and he has learnt it and delivers it well. He took some advice on delivery from me, went through it twice and called it a night. He'll be ok.
So now he's gone, and it's just me Sophie and the laptop.....maybe I'll just go to bed and feel better in the morning...what's the alternative? Don't ask....
Sorry, these two blogs are probably best deleted for being a. boring and b. miserable. But hey, what you see is what you get. I'll try and do better next time, Night x
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2 comments:
You couldn't be boring if you tried, Sally. Just wish things would lift a bit for you. It sounds as if you coped incredibly well, regardless of what was going on inside.
Hugs and loves xx
please don't try any harder! you're wonderful. I'd love to know what they serve by way of communiuon wine at Clives church...
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