Thoughts and feelings...

..Head and heart...constantly thinking and feeling..that's me..no wonder I am exhausted most of the time..no wonder I don't sleep well..the thoughts and feelings don't stop. Won't stop. Trouble is, I give control to someone else..allow someone else to dictate whether I am happy or sad. And tonight I am unhappy. No details....but I am very unhappy. And alone. And I should not depend on someone else for how I feel. That is what is meant by the Peace of God passing all understanding..it is the peace that comes from within and does not depend on someone or something else....I know I should seek God's peace and not try and make my own...

I watched the film Chocolat tonight. I have seen it before, but it was just after I read the book, and I think I spent the whole time making comparisons, being annoyed at the differences...tonight there was enough distance for me to accept the film for what it was...strange that in my last blog I mentioned sex, chocolate and pleasure, because this film was about all three. The church was represented as a place of denial of pleasure, of judgement and exclusion, until the priest found his own voice, and spoke of acceptance, embracing pleasure, not denying it, and inclusion, not exclusion. God gave us good things for us to enjoy them, not for us to deny ourselves...but all things in moderation. As long as we remember to thank Him for the good things in life. Like our friends.

And Johnny Depp, who can walk into my life anytime he likes..with or without chocolate...

As I was saying about friends, a CD arrived in the post today from the lvoely Caroline, a perfect present (recommended to her by whispering Bob Harris, so it must be good..) and I knew from the very first bars of Scottish folk fiddle that I lvoed it..thank you. I have such very caring friends. I should not be sad.