Priceless...

Even by my standards, the one-liner I came out with yesterday was priceless....

I think I have mentioned on my blog over the years that I do some voicework for a guy in St Albans..it started with a Bible Comes to Life exhibition years ago where groups would visit and sit in a room converted to a Bedouin camp under the night sky in the desert (twinkling stars and everything...) and I did one voice and DC did the other..explaining about God, the creation of the world, God sending his Son etc..it wasn't until I went to the exhibition myself, and the lights went up..and I was the voice of a camel, telling the story of creation. DC was, of course, the voice of God. Oh how he laughed....

Anyway, I digress, H has gone on to take the show on the road, in two massive converted trailers, taking the story to schools, one trailer is fitted out as the cabin of a small jet, and passengers are 'flown' to Israel, watching film as they fly, telling the story of Jesus, and yes that's my voice too, which surprised my church members when they went recently.

Next project was an interactive DVD telling the Christmas story, again for schools, and I did the voice work for that.

Last Friday, as is his way, H rings and wants me to do some recording asap. He always wants it NOW. So I agreed to do it that Sunday afternoon at his convenience. I go to his house, read the script, sit at the mic, and generally do it all in one take. Occasionally we re-do bits if he wants it said differently.

I know he doesn't make much money out of what he does, in fact none, I think he gets sponsors, so I have done the work for nothing. In recent years, if there has been a lot to do, he has insisted on paying me a nominal £20. So, if there is little to do, I often refuse payment, but every now and again he insists I take it, so that works well.

Remember I am a trained actress, I have done a little radio work and other voice work in my past - 10-15 years ago, and I was paid £100 an hour then, that was a good job!!!! - I am good at what I do, do it all in one take.....

So imagine my reaction, when having finished half an hour's work on Sunday, H offers to pay me and I say, no, not this time, my pleasure, and he says, oh no, I insist on paying you, I was going to get a professional in and he wanted to charge me £250....

You can imagine my reaction at hearing the words 'I was going to get a professional in'....I smiled but actually he was lucky to get away with his life....

Anyway, yesterday I was travelling on the motorway with DC and I was telling him this story. About what H had said, apparently he used this 'professional' recently, and paid him £100..but when he was approached for this piece of work, (2 A4 pages of script) he not only wanted £250, but also wanted three weeks notice cos he was busy. So as H wanted it done straight away, he made do with me. (H didn't put it that way of course..) So having told me this, H gets his cheque book and offers the usual £20.

'Cheeky b...' I was telling DC. 'I do a good job for him, at a moment's notice, and he has the cheek to tell me he has been using a 'professional.' Well, believe me, that's the last time I drop everything for £20.'

..........

You try saying that line and causing someone driving at 90mph in the outside lane of the M4 to have a sudden and complete fit of the giggles...not to be recommended..but I did giggle fairly helplessly too...