Spooky.....

I love this website..the animation and the atmospheric music...I did the test yesterday and lvoed the daemon it gave me, a lvoely little animal like a meercat..can't remember what it was or its name...I tried to save it but id didn't work. This morning it worked, but although I thought I answered the test the same, this morning I am modest and not asssertive, and I have a different daemon!!!

Over to you..what will your comments on me change me into?????

Fings wot I did this weekend....

Went shopping in St Albans with Laa and bridesmaid Amy. Looked for wedding stuff. Had wedding meeting at the Waffle House. Mmmm....banoffee waffle and banana milk shake to die for....had girlie evening in, ate chocolate and pop corn, watched The Holiday..love it lvoe it...I so lust after Jude Law in that film.....

Then today..went shopping in J*hn L*wis!! MoB and B-Maid tried on lingerie and Laa did the running about between fitting rooms sorting us out. Had ladies lunch in the restaurant and a pot of tea for three (how grown up) and discussed marriage, fear, doubt, being sure, not being sure..and I listened to Laa and Amy and said little..apart from the timeless wisdom of..'whatever happens..keep communicating with each other. Keep talking. And keep listening.'

We bought ribbon for the cars and I picked up my dress, and..wait for it..I got a hat!! Yes, I got a hat!!!!!

Priceless...

Even by my standards, the one-liner I came out with yesterday was priceless....

I think I have mentioned on my blog over the years that I do some voicework for a guy in St Albans..it started with a Bible Comes to Life exhibition years ago where groups would visit and sit in a room converted to a Bedouin camp under the night sky in the desert (twinkling stars and everything...) and I did one voice and DC did the other..explaining about God, the creation of the world, God sending his Son etc..it wasn't until I went to the exhibition myself, and the lights went up..and I was the voice of a camel, telling the story of creation. DC was, of course, the voice of God. Oh how he laughed....

Anyway, I digress, H has gone on to take the show on the road, in two massive converted trailers, taking the story to schools, one trailer is fitted out as the cabin of a small jet, and passengers are 'flown' to Israel, watching film as they fly, telling the story of Jesus, and yes that's my voice too, which surprised my church members when they went recently.

Next project was an interactive DVD telling the Christmas story, again for schools, and I did the voice work for that.

Last Friday, as is his way, H rings and wants me to do some recording asap. He always wants it NOW. So I agreed to do it that Sunday afternoon at his convenience. I go to his house, read the script, sit at the mic, and generally do it all in one take. Occasionally we re-do bits if he wants it said differently.

I know he doesn't make much money out of what he does, in fact none, I think he gets sponsors, so I have done the work for nothing. In recent years, if there has been a lot to do, he has insisted on paying me a nominal £20. So, if there is little to do, I often refuse payment, but every now and again he insists I take it, so that works well.

Remember I am a trained actress, I have done a little radio work and other voice work in my past - 10-15 years ago, and I was paid £100 an hour then, that was a good job!!!! - I am good at what I do, do it all in one take.....

So imagine my reaction, when having finished half an hour's work on Sunday, H offers to pay me and I say, no, not this time, my pleasure, and he says, oh no, I insist on paying you, I was going to get a professional in and he wanted to charge me £250....

You can imagine my reaction at hearing the words 'I was going to get a professional in'....I smiled but actually he was lucky to get away with his life....

Anyway, yesterday I was travelling on the motorway with DC and I was telling him this story. About what H had said, apparently he used this 'professional' recently, and paid him £100..but when he was approached for this piece of work, (2 A4 pages of script) he not only wanted £250, but also wanted three weeks notice cos he was busy. So as H wanted it done straight away, he made do with me. (H didn't put it that way of course..) So having told me this, H gets his cheque book and offers the usual £20.

'Cheeky b...' I was telling DC. 'I do a good job for him, at a moment's notice, and he has the cheek to tell me he has been using a 'professional.' Well, believe me, that's the last time I drop everything for £20.'

..........

You try saying that line and causing someone driving at 90mph in the outside lane of the M4 to have a sudden and complete fit of the giggles...not to be recommended..but I did giggle fairly helplessly too...

Thinking, thinking, thinking...

Generally I think too much. It's going over and over stuff in my head is like being on a ride I can't get off, and it exhausts me and consumes me. That's why I like being asleep so much! It gives me a break. All the thinking about stuff going on in my life is like twisting the knife in a wound, and it only hurts me, and eventually the emotion overspills into endless crying or the anger emerges with shouting, hitting things and..well, the language...you wouldn't believe..or maybe you would...

I don't know where the anger comes from, I never knew all my life I had so much anger inside..not sure it always gets directed appropriately, though... (sometimes it does...oh believe me...)

Well, this morning, when I was still feeling ok, I heard some words, some unexpected words: ill chosen? Thoughtless? I took it badly, I was angry and upset. I said so fairly forcefully and put the phone down. But the thing is..the good thing is, yes I was upset, but I didn't cry. Yes, I was hurt and angry, but I didn't lose it. I just felt it, acknowledged it and thought about it, and saw things a little differently. I decided I need to handle things a little differently. make a few decisions and stick to them....

The other good thing is, I was ok. Still balanced. Still went to work and got on with stuff, didn't collapse like a mad woman. I left work at the end of the day, still thinking, but still feeling ok, and telling myself that being in control, in balance, was good.

Until I walked a while in the unseasonable cold and rain to where my car was parked, a little way from the office..and it wasn't there...and then it dawned on me..I had been on a family visit during the day and had parked my car somewhere else...and so I had to walk round the whole block in aforementioned wind, cold and rain..unneccessarily....then I began to lose it...that just about did it. You muppet!

Doing my job properly...

One of the best things - in fact the best thing, the most important thing - about me being 'ok' within myself, and not absorbed with my own concerns, living on my emotions and struggling to stay in control - and some of this, I have no doubt, is still connected to my grief: just over two years since my mum died, not two years for dad yet..although I am so much better, under the surface it has to be there:

For instance, having had a good weekend, as previously blogged, I was in the kitchen happily cooking dinner on Sunday when James and Amy were over, and thinking how happy J seemed, I thought my mum would be pleased..then realised she never met Amy...and I suddenly felt her loss so deeply I just cried and cried, whilst turning the roast potatoes! Just sobbed helplessly as I drained the carrots..then a few moments later, James came in and said, 'You ok Ma?' and gave me a hug, and there I was , right as rain, and no-one would have known...

Anyway, where was I...one of the things that bothers me most is that if I am having a bad day, I really cannot do my job properly..I cannot be there..truly be there, for others. Centred. In the moment. And that is so important.

But this week I have been. And it makes what I do worthwhile, that I can connect and truly 'be there' for someone as they tell me their story...the young mother with three children whose partner has a terminal illness, and will have six months to two years to live...the mum with three children by three different dads and an ex partner who died...the mum whose partner is working abroad, trying to cope alone and hiding the fact that she is drinking too much...

I know I talk a lot...and a lot of rubbish! I know this blog is often shallow, but I hope, humorous.....but really, I do know how to listen. I do know how to sit still and quiet and hear someone's story, hear their pain, and not be overwhelmed with it: and somehow, when you have been really present for someone, really centred on them, they feel it somewhere, even if you do nothing, and they smile and say 'thank you' because sometimes people close to them, family and friends can't hear their pain, it's too much....and I ask the questions no-one else wants to ask..I need to hear the answers in order to work out how I can help..find them the right volunteer...

When I can leave my own stuff behind, stop being stupidly selfish and self absorbed, that's when God uses me. That's when I know what I'm here for.

Blimey, that's shocked you, hasn't it? Better check if you're reading the right blog.....

Good things...

..so far so good..I know it's only Tuesday, but last week I was fairly suicidal and crying all over my friends..this week the thinking positively is still working...yesterday, busy at work, both colleagues in, plus electrician who had to shut off all electrickery while he checked circuits, so no lights, heaters, phone, computers..ok..no kettle....no kettle??? I insisted for health and safety purposes that the staff should leave the building and so we went out for a long lunch..excellent for team building...

Today we started a new volunteers training course..a good group..and our first man!!!! It's only taken six years to get our first make volunteer! Has changed the dynamics already....I lvoe delivering training and today was fun....

Then tonight, V, who was my bereavement counsellor for a year, then my supervisor for a year, was so worried about the state of me last week, she insisted on seeing me this week..so I picked her up and we went to the pub..she hardly recognised me, bouncy and smiling, and we had a good evening..talked for over three hours, I had three cups of coffee - three! - and we shared the most gorgeous piece of cheesecake..I rolled in at almost 10.30pm reeking of coffee, the shame of it....and I think I have another friend...excellent...

Nothing much changes, but my attitude to life. What is going on inside my head. What I think, what I feel. Last week, totally out of control, totally emotion led. This week...a balance..long may it last...

A good one...

This weekend was a good weekend...why? Because I had got my wedding outfit, so that was a load off, as they say. I had a good end of the week, I was feeling positive and better about things in general and myself in particular. I had a good book on the go, so spent time night and morning reading, which always absorbs me...

Saturday morning after reading, I got up and pottered, hanging out washing in the warm sunshine, listening to Brian Matthew's Sound of the Sixties - a gem of a programme - eating toast and drinking coffee and generally chilling and enjoying my own space...

I wobbled briefly and got a bit tearful, but then my positive mental attitude stuff kicked in, I am working so hard and changing my thinking, which so affects my emotion. Sort of DIY cognitive/behavioural therapy. Anyway, I went out with a friend, and spent the day shopping, having lunch out, talking and sharing, driving, visiting the French market, looking at caravans, and generally having fun, before heading home for a late afternoon cup of tea. I was determined to stay positive: appreciate what you have, not yearn for what you cannot have. Enjoy the moment, don't want for more....know there will be other moments...keep smiling...

I then enjoyed a late afternoon dog walk with Jill, looking at the trees in bud, the bluebells in full bloom and enjoying the company. Home to eat dinner watching my new favourite Saturday evening TV show: Any dream will do: dangerously camp and seriously addictive..have you picked your Joseph yet???

Retiring to bed with my book and laptop, I caught up with Liz on msn, intending to say hello and goodnight. That turned into a giggle with out webcams, she in PJs and me in my nightie...and Liz showing me new clothes from her latest shopping spree....then when the connection crashed, we spoke on our mobile phones until 1.30 in the morning!! I was treated to the sound of Liz reading my latest blog entry, the leaving presents story, which considering she had already heard it, still made her laugh helplessly for about 5 minutes: I wish I could record it as a soundtrack for people to hear as they read the blog....

This morning I was lazy and stayed in bed until I finished my book, then got up with the rewarding task of preparing for James and Amy to visit: a bit if tidying up, then another dog walk with Jill and a chance to sit in the sun on her terrace with a coffee and time to chat...

As if that wasn't all lovely enough, J and A arrived and we sat out to eat lunch in the garden, enjoying the summer, reminding ourselves that it is still only April...they disappeared off to see friends, just in time for me to visit Howard and do some voice work for him...half an hour and I had earned £25...and given that he is only round the corner from friend Jacky, I invited myself round for a cup of tea. When I told her I had been round to a man's house for 30 minutes and earned £25, she stared hard and asked, Sally, what have you done???? Well, voice over work obviously, anything else and I would have earned much more....

Home again to cook a lovely roast dinner and spend time with J and A: both on good form, and it's good when your 6' 4" son envelopes you in hugs...at 5' 3" I am easily enveloped...

Now I am in bed, thinking about work tomorrow, and feeling ok, positive and happy it has been a good weekend..I hope yours was too, wherever you are, and whatever you were doing. xxx

Oh, alright then....

I told this story to Caroline and Liz, whose instant reaction was, oh Sally, you must blog it...I thought no, it's a bit rude, and anyway, it was Good Friday and everyone was posting serious, reflective religious stuff (and why not) and I didn't want to lower the tone....

But a couple of weeks have past and nothing else funny has happened - except seeing DC in a strange blue jacket, which just made me dissolve into giggles, must to his confusion, I thought the jacket looked a bit caretaker like, almost the material and colour overalls are made out of, know what I mean? When I said this, he was much affronted, and said it was trendy, and I said, no, it's a bus driver's jacket, all you need is a little badge on the pocket..by now I was laughing so hard I almost....fell over (stop it, I know what you were thinking....) and he was much offended..sorry..(but if anyone can get a badge for next time we all meet.....)

Anyway, my story..goodness I am side tracked like Ronnie Barker....

DC and I have had various young boys (oh my goodness, how bad does that sound..please read on quickly...) who have worked for us as tech crew over the years..one such lad, has been great recently, working on all sorts of gigs for us, doing sound and lighting, and has also worked on Front Desk for a couple of years. Know who I mean? Good.

Chris, for that is his name, has left to go on a round the world trip in a bus with 30 others, it will take them 8 or 9 months to reach Australia, and he had set off with his rucksack and tent and gone to see the world. The night before he left, we had a SAND dinner for him..and took him to a very nice pan-Asian restaurant with a couple of other crew members...

I decided to buy him a leaving present..something for a happy traveller but useful and able to fit in a rucksack. After an hour or two's shopping I had, in fact, bought a number of items, and a kind of theme had emerged. As a young single man, I'm sure Chris was hoping to perhaps meet a young lady on the trip, and had indicated to me (because I asked) that there were one or two possibles booked onto the trip. So the theme of the presents was about Chris 'getting lucky.' I wrapped the gifts and labelled them accordingly.

Imagine our small group in a smart Asian restaurant, being slightly raucous in the corner, and we get to present opening time. He reads the first label: 'To help you get lucky' and it is shower gel (travel sized). Other parcels are similarly labelled: 'If you get lucky': a packet of 3 condoms..he gave an embarrasssed groan as he unwrapped it, he was hoping I hadn't but I had...but only 3 I told him, you aren't going to get that lucky,.... then 'if you get lucky and nervous': deodorant..then a packet labelled, 'If you don't get lucky...' :a packet of tissues...now at this point all four blokies absolutely collapsed into hysterics, Chris looking really embarrassed but helpless, all looking at me and going, 'Oh, Sally....' whilst cracking up....I looked at them..and then it dawned on me..and I too became a helpless giggling heap, tears pouring down my face as I struggled to find the words...'No. listen..the tissues are for..(gasp) if he doesn't get lucky....he might cry...' more hysteria as the guys realise my thoughts were not their thoughts, and how innocent I am......

When we manage to stop laughing, and Chris has opened the book with Top Ten Tips on How to Pull, and was reading them out, we realised the restaurant has emptied. We've done it again....as we get up to leave, Chris is putting his presents away, and the nice waiter asks if it is a birthday. No, I say, he is leaving tomorrow and going round the world. Oh, how wonderful, says the waiter, and (looking at me and DC) how lucky is he to have such a kind and generous mum and dad......oh yes, very funny, that Chris and Rich then said, come on Mum, and helped me out of the restaurant..probably to make sure mum didn't hit the waiter.......

I thought it would be obvious....

...that the Yes! Yes! Yes! post referred back to the Oh dear..nothing, entry...and no-one commented, 'I'll have some of what she's having'...a bonus point for the person who can name the film?? Clue: my name features somewhere...

But yes, Merlin, you are correct in your surmising..I have indeed bought a dress..not to mention a jacket, shoes, wrap, matching bag, skirt, top, more shoes, another wrap, another matching bag...and the moral of the story is, don't waste time trailing round shops on your own, coping with armfuls of stock which they then don't allow in the fitting room, 'Only four items..' and the fitting rooms are so small you can't fit two people in (not being kinky, just wanted Laura with me), and often nowhere to hang up the outfits, queues for the fitting rooms horrendous, and someone has to traipse back on to the shop floor searching for different sizes (me if I am alone..)

Make an appointment with a fashion advisor, who gives you two hours of her time free..she does all the work while you sit in a comfy chair reading magazines..lots of room to try stuff on, and she has no preconceptions, and brings clothes you would never dream of picking up yourself...

And young Dorothy, bless her, took one look at me and heard about my desperate search for a Mother of the Bride outfit..and fetched in wonderful outfits I hadn't looked at...she only brought in one fuscia pink suit, and she wasn't happy with it, she said, no, that's hideous, I won't allow you to buy it, you need something young and bright...

And so, what colour am I wearing? Pale pink? No. Pale blue? No. Pale green? No. Lilac? no. Red. Bright red. Pillar box red. Fire engine red. Come and get me, in your face, red. A low cut dress and jacket. Stunning. Mother of the bride? What bride?

Dorothy, and JL, thank you. You are stars.

It had to be done...

I just had to take more pics of the flowers, to follow the one on a previous blog, taken when I first got them..a week ago. Half way through the week:

Then after a whole week:

Aren't they amazing? And the scent from the lilies follows me all over the house...I just wanted to share them....

Oh....

Yes! Yes! Yes!

They are lvoely, thank you...

Liz, you are a good friend. The flowers are amazing and are filling the whole house with the most wonderful scent. They drink about 2 pints of water a day!!

I will admit to not having such a good week. Flowers and friendship, a listening ear at the end of a phone..what more could a girl want? (Ok, don't get me started....)

Another Good Thing: I mentioned a few months ago that I was doing some training for the national organisation...my reputation has gone before me, and they have asked me to run a workshop at the national convention in September, in Edinburgh. The subject? Managing Volunteers!!! Oh well, that's one organisation which appreciates me at least.....

It wasn't all bad...

It meant I got a day with Laa. We started full of optimism in the JL coffee shop...we had a couple of hours trying stuff on (at least I tried stuff on, Laa fetched and carried and looked sympathetic..) then we met up with J's girlfriend, Amy, with her mum, also doing wedding outfit shopping on Oxford St, there's a coincidence, for A's brother's wedding in NY..(keeping up? Good). It seemed a good opportunity for us mums to meet..Laa wondered if we would get on and have enough to talk about over lunch...well we started at 2pm and were still talking over coffee at 4.30pm..shopping forgotten, and carl*ccio's is such a lvoely place....

Still, we had to get on, and carried on shopping, in JL, Debs, House of F, Selfridges..until the doors closed at 8pm...I kid you not....don't ask me why it is so hard to buy a suitable outfit that has to pass 2 main criteria: 1. I like it. 2. It fits. See? I'm not being difficult....

I was brave enough to get up and start again this morning, at a nearby branch of JL, I went alone and suffered two hours of trying on...I have left a few outfits on hold to revisit with Laa...they 'will do' as opposed to being 'the very thing.' Five weeks left..I suppose I could try and lose a little weight...it might help...

Oh dear....

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Nothing.

Tomorrow....

..tomorrow it happens. London with Laura. Oxford Street. John Lewis. Selfridges. Debenhams. Somewhere....I will find the outfit that will turn me into Mother of the Bride. Depend on it.

Come to a House Concert!

It's the next Big Thing! Invite a lvoely, talented musician to your home, invite friends in (well, sell them tickets) have enough money to pay the artiste, and raise money for charity as well!

I read about it. Looked up How To Do It. Then invited a musician, arranged the date, told people about it..strange how some didn't believe me, laughed even..then last night I told C, seeing as he does live here, and J had said, 'Have you told Dad?' 'Er..no..' 'You're having a laugh...' Anyway, last night I told him and he didn't say no, just looked a bit bemused..'By the way, did I tell you, I'm having a concert in the living room, just a musician and 20 or 30 people, it'll be fine....'

So you read it here first!

Steve Lawson. In concert. In my Front Room. With food. And drink. Live music. For only £20. Friday 4th May at 7.30pm. Roll up, roll up! Only 25 tickets available...

A quote from Jazzwise:
Lawson's writing and his phenomenal command of the possibilities of looping creates a compelling and surprising variety of sounds one would never imagine the bass capable of producing.

Well, you can be sure of one thing..it will make me get on and do my spring cleaning!! And another..I will be cooking some yummy food. Come on, step right up..who will be first?

More books...

..Since finishing The Time Traveler's Wife (see previous post) I have finished two more books, and I am so pleased that the holiday has got me back into the wonderful habit of reading, and I intend to keep it up (like the swimming and the exercising, more of that later..) So I bring you:


Very different from TTTW but an interesting read, a good bit of historical research, and it kept me occupied on the four and a half hour flight back from Egypt as I really didn't fancy the film.


And now I have just finished this one, a lightweight read (sorry Caroline) which took a but of getting into, but turned out ok...quite funny but also a moving look at death and mourning and moving on....

So now you know.

Almost forgot...

..to share the book wot I read on my holiday..The Time Traveler's Wife... what an amazing story, and so well written and thought out..no sooner had I come to the end, than I turned straight back to page one, to re-read this story in the light of the knowledge and understanding which comes from having read the whole book, if that makes sense.

It is powerful, original, thought provoking and also a wonderful lvoe story, engaging me with the thought that maybe sometimes people are just meant for each other, soul mates, a perfect fit. It absorbed me for almost the whole holiday, I loved having the time to read non-stop, almost without interruption..oh go on, if you haven't read it, please do...

Dance then, wherever you may be...

Dance, then, wherever you maybe,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said He.

We sang this in church this morning. Yes, I went to the Easter service. I smiled at people. I listened to the readings, so familiar, and yet so out of reach. I sang the songs and hymns...except for the one that got too joyful in the Alleluia, Alleluia, He is Risen, All is Well, kind of way, and suddenly that stabbing pain is there, the missing part of me that is my mum and dad, and where are they, and I miss them, and how can I sing a joyful song? And then tears, which slide down my face, but I hide them well.

Then I managed to sing Lord of the Dance, a song I learned on the guitar, and sang in services in the 60s, it was a new song then, it broke the mould. Those words, 'wherever you may be..' Where are they? Are they dancing now? Are they just dancing somewhere else, somewhere I will be one day?

Laa and Mec come over for lunch, and after we play some Peter Kay videos on the laptop, and we laugh...and we eat chocolate, then they are gone, and I go and walk the dog in the evening sunshine, and fight back the always present tears.

David popped round after church with an Easter card, home produced with his photos of spring flowers on. I'm glad Laa and Mec are coming round, he says as he leaves, have a nice day. Oh yes, I'll have a nice day. Simple, isn't it?

Alleluia, He is Risen. I went to church. I said the words. But I didn't feel anything. People were pleased to see me. Hello, how are you? Smile. Fine, thank you. So simple. But I am still part of the Dance. And the dance must go on.

Unity at the Cross

Every Good Friday evening, at 8pm, there is an ecumenical service here at the Abbey...called Unity at the Cross...except for the last few years, I have attended it most years. In fact, on many occasions, as different groups are invited to take the service, I have been part of it: performing a solo dramatic piece as Jesus' mother Mary; directing a piece of theatre, as part of Peter, the musical I co-wrote and directed, was performed one year; and another time I was leading the singing and music group...it was always a busy time of year, with rehearsals in the Abbey, and always a feeling of being humbled, a part of something much bigger than oneself...

Today I found myself reflecting on the fact that my lack of involvement with anything like that in recent years (other things took priority), I actually feel a bit removed from the events of Easter, and wanted to engage a bit more. I mentioned to DC about the service, as we often used to go together, and he was also thinking about going this year.

So it was, that he and I joined a few hundred people in the Abbey tonight - witnessing some Christian drama which could have been better and crap sound - so no change there then, and David wasn't anywhere near the mics....

I was pleased to be part of the service, to see a few familiar faces, people from many different churches, known to me through being in the cast of Peter...to go forward and light a candle and put it at the foot of the cross, and say prayers for people I know who may be ill, or distressed, or struggling..but to also join in praising God for the love in my life and the people in my life, and know that God lvoes me for who and what I am...

I did really well holding it all together, until we sang the words:

At the foot of the cross, there is healing for this nation,
There is rest for those who wait.
And the lvoe that we find is the hope of all creation,
We are stunned by what you gave.
We will wait at the cross, a hungery generation,
With our broken hearts and lives.
Will you hear? Will you hear? Will you fill our desperation?
Oh, God, let it be the time.

We will wait here at the cross, we will wait here at the cross,
We will wait here at the cross, we will wait here at the cross.

I wept and gave to God the desperation and awful sadness, grief and loss which caused me to be unable to go to work on Thursday morning, and has filled me most of this week...

I also sang one of my most favourite hymns, When I survey the wondrous cross, singing the tune and enjoying the deep harmony of the man next to me...took me back to Iona...

Love so amazing, so divine...demands my soul, my life, my all.

As promised....

Isn't she gorgeous? Well, the camel of course. We went for a walk together along the beach, along the shore of the red sea..in the sunshine...what an experience..it's the getting on and off which is the scary bit, as they go down on their knees, and up again...

The camel ride was followed by an evening with members of the Beduine tribe, starting with tea, a smoke of their bubbly pipe, then a lovely dinner, and lastly, they sat round an open fire, as it got dark, and played music and sang, and we danced....me and a couple of beduines...highlight of my holiday...oh that and the lveoly, gorgeous young man behind reception, who used to smile and wave when he saw me, and come round the desk to shake my hand and ask if I was enjoying my holiday. One time he said, 'I have to say something to you. You have very beautiful eyes.' 'Oh, thank you,' I said, 'What a lovely thing to say.' and I walked taller and smiled for the rest of the day. What a difference a few kind words can make....

The not-so-burning bush...

Of course it's not still burning, you sillies!! There would be nothing left to show the tourists.... we saw the site inside the monastery where it was..it is now a small hallowed dark space where we may not go in..but they have transferred the bush outside where it is growing kind of out of a wall, luckily above our heads, so people can't reach and pull bits off, like they all try to...it's thriving, so no worries for the burning bush then..if you want to know more, look up the web site of St Catherine's Monastery, the oldest monastery in the world, at the foot on Mount Sinai. It is now owned and lived in by Greek Orthodox monks.

Thank you for the sympathy and tips on ipod head phones. I don't feel quite so silly now....

More pics to follow...still very tired, (and cold!) so about to go to bed......

I'm back...

When I was little, part of my summer holiday routine was to stay with relatives in Bristol, driving the long drive from Liverpool through towns and villages, no motorways then, and we went through somewhere called Kidderminster, I always thought that was a funny name, and we always went to the beach at Weston-Super-Mare and I rode on the donkeys, over and over, I lvoed them, and hung around them when the donkey man was eating his lunch, and I remember him telling me to go away, or something like that..anyway, as you see from the photo, I have progressed from a donkey on Weston Sands to a camel by the Red Sea...I took this piccie of the group with my camera-phone...

Then I was hot. Warmed by the sun. Today I am cold. Freezing cold. Feels like winter. I have sun burn. Red and peeling skin. Heat rash- itchy bumps all over, driving me mad. I have aching muscles from the camel ride and sore calves where the saddle rubbed. I am a bit wheezy and chesty. My tummy is a bit delicate. Apart from that....

It was Egypt. The desert. Rubble. Barren. Hot. Noisy. Crowded. Lonely. I swam. I did the pool side stretching class. Every day. I did the water aerobics. Every day. I read two books. I missed my friends. Relax, unwind, just be yourself, they said. Yes....

Worst thing of all was my bl**dy ipod ear pieces. Could I get the them to stay in my ears? No I could not. They fell out, constantly, all the time..so bl**dy annoying. I must have funny ears. I showed Laura on my return, how useless they were, how I hardly used my ipod, how frustrated I was. Look, says Sally, they fall out. See how they fall out. Look, says Laura, you have them in the wrong way round. What do you mean, the wrong way round? See, Sally, see the L and R on the earpieces. Put them in the right way round. See how they stay in your ear.

Well, f**ck me, why didn't anyone show me that before????

Anyway, I have seen the Burning Bush. Really. It's still there. The one Moses' saw. So there. Ner.