Sharing the good times.....

I have shared the bad times on this blog (Oh, how she has shared the bad times, you are thinking. Sorry.) So it's important to share the good times as well.

I have weaned myself off the anti-depressants ahead of schedule. I have almost a month and a half''s supply left! But I have been feeling ok so just went with it and have been 'clean' for a week. My counsellor is amazed and delighted with how I am doing. We have just three sessions left, after Iona, to finish with one just after the first anniversary of dad's death. I am ok with this and feel really positive.

Do you know how good it is to come home from work, cook dinner, walk the dog and potter about and do things? I have hardly cooked in almost a year - C has come home from work and found me asleep on the settee, I wake and eat, go back to sleep and go to bed as early as possible, always by 10pm. I was permanently tired. I would wake up exhausted. For about the last three weeks it has changed. I actually have some energy back. I am not crying. I am back in control. I have been reluctant to say, because I can change so quickly, overnight it can all change and it is horrible feeling so out of control.

But now I am still awake at gone 11pm! I am going to bed later, and sleeping really, really, well. I am still having strange dreams, and dream about mum and dad being alive again on a regular basis. I see them in my dreams, but it doesn't upset me.

I hope, really hope and pray, that I am finding the person I used to be. Or rather, the person I am going to be now. I am looking forward to a break in Iona - but also nervous about lots of things (will I rememebr to pack everything for a start!) but I will be with Friends. Which can only be good.

I just thought I'd share that with you!