Day Two of Our Adventures...

We left the hotel early, to take full advantage of the fact that the Theme park opens an hour earlier just for hotel customers for three of the Big Rides..and we wouldn't want to miss them, would we? So I follow the Keen Two, rucksacks bobbing on their backs, to the bottom of the car park to reach the Woodland Walk to the Theme Park. Unfortunately we reach a dead end, a wire fence, a couple of rubbish skips and some work men who think we are lost already...so we decide to give up on the healthy option and head for the mono-rail to get on the little train which runs us to the Theme Park. It is a pleasant ride, over the tops of the buildings and gardens, steady and slow, very pleasant, I've had my ride, seen the park, can I go home now?

No, we head to nemesis where I take one look and shake my head, and so hold the bags and coats of J and K who join the screaming few who are strapped in and hurled about at 90 miles an hour, upside down, sideways, there is a lot of screaming, and they emerge 50 seconds later, delighted with their experience. I couldn't even look.

I can tell J and K are getting worried that I won't have a Good Time today, I tell them I am happy being there, don't worry..but they tell me enthusiatically all about the next ride Air..it's not too bad, it's more gentle, you feel like you're flying..really, I'll like it..I take a look, but I'm really not sure, and a little internal discussion takes place in my head..oh no, I don't think so, oh go on, you know you want to, don't be a wuss, it looks fun, take a risk, join in, actually I love the feeling of flying, I'll go for it. So..Yes, I say, I'm in, much to the delight of J and K.

Next minute I am firmly pinned down by iron bars across my body and even cuffs round my ankles. I can't move. J and K are watching me like hawks. I try and hide the slight panic and feelings of claustrophobia....then suddenly the seats tip forward 90 degrees and we are facing the concrete. the ride starts slowly, and it is indeed like flying..it's ok..it picks up speed, faster and faster, and I am still ok until the sudden awful changes in direction which leaves your stomach and brain trying to catch up and I have to close my eyes and think of something else while I am hurtled through the air..then the ride flips 180 degrees and instead of facing the ground I am on my back facing the sky, then the ground again, then shooting to my right, then left..just as I am wondering how I can survive this, it stops, and I am released, with J and K still looking at me..I have made it..'yes, that was good fun' I say with a weak smile.'Oh, good' they say, happily.

Next we come across the Blade, which is just a large swing boat. How bad can that be? I like swing boats, gentle, backwards and forwards, no sudden movements, yes I am up for that, to J and K's great delight. Things are looking up. We get on the very back seat - of course - because that is where you swing highest. the boat starts, slowly backwards and forwards, I feel the wind in may hair, that lvoely swinging feeling..yes, J and K are still anxiously watching me and I smile and say 'Weeee' and wave my arms in the air and do all the right things..this is fun..then the swing boat gets higher and higher, and faster, until we swing so high I am almost upside down..a slight pause at the top, then down with such speed and force that my stomach is almost in my mouth..then a pause at the top the other side..then the same backwards and I realise I am really starting to feel sick. The good thing about these rides is that they are mercifully short, and so it is over, and I climb off, slightly wobbly. 'That was fun,' I smile. K looks at me. 'Would you like to sit down?' 'Yes please.' We sit on a bench and I do deep breathing and try and keep control. I say I must be sensible, and not over so it, I have such a sensitive stomach.

After a rest I am feeling better and we decide to head over to the Charlie and the Chocolate factory ride. I want to go in the glass elevator and see the oomph lamp's. It's a long walk, or we can take the cable car. Oh yes, I say, I love cable cars, no problem. So we get in a cable car with a few chatting teenagers, and we start talking, and the cable car moves out over the valley, over the trees tops...and suddenly, I know, for no apparent reason, all is lost. K looks at my face, and She Knows. She urges J to move quickly out of my way, and though I really, really, try not to....yes, I see my breakfast again. And so does everybody else. The chatting teenagers fall into a stunned and horrified silence, and when the cable car stops and the doors open, they jump over seats and fall over each other to get out. I am frantically trying to say sorry to everyone......

J and K are looking worried, and saying how guilty they feel, and I say no, I take responsibility for myself and my decisions. I say, I have feared this, since the memory of the very first year GB had a fair, and I was persuaded onto the waltzer by D Cullen and the mini Cullens, and despite my refusals, they wouldn't take no for an answer, and so as not to appear a kill joy, I went on..and vomited all over them for the entire ride. DC got most of it. One of the most unpleasant and embarrassing experiences of my life. I had to be escorted to my tent and left to lie down and hope to die....

J and K listen to this story and look at me in a 'Now you tell us..' kind of way....