1. I would like to stay in bed today.
Had a meeting with chair and treasurer last night. Finance driven. From 8pm until 11.20pm. Enough said................
2. Found receipt for petrol and flowers bought in Bristol. Flowers cost £3.99. In a bunch in the middle of all those buckets of fresh flowersoutsidee all petrol stations. How was I to know.........
3. Had an e-mail from my Big Cousin after funeral, along the lines of, you did really well on Friday, you looked lvoely, you talked to people, you were caring, good to see you etc etc.
I replied, thank you for saying I looked lvoely (words which leapt out of the page at me..not often heard!!!) in truth next to my younger, slimmer, glamorous cousins, in fact I felt middle aged, overweight and frumpy. There, I said it.
His reply? Well yes, you are middle aged, overweight and frumpy, but you still looked lvoely, it's your smile, your personality, it just shines through and that's what people see.
Now if that isn't enough to make me start my diet, go to the gym and rethink my wardrobe, I don't know what is.
Isn't the truth wonderful!!!!!!
4. Still want to stay in bed.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
The Circle of Life
A good weekend, but with my lack of sleep and busy few days, I felt I was only 70% there! But I did try...I arrived home from Bristol, dropped my bags in the hall, went straight out to pick J and K up from the station, came back, dropped their bags in the hall, and headed off to my favourite Chinese restaurant - we took Clive with us who found J and K very entertaining and he enjoyed himself immensely. He was very impressed with how much wine J can get through on her own!!!!
Saturday, my guests suggested having breakfast out, which may have been a diplomatic reaction to me admitting that with going to Bristol and funerals and wot not, I had not been shopping, so there was not much choice..but we all headed to my favourite little coffee chop and partook of their cooked breakfast, and Laura joined us which was lvoely.
After a brief shopping foray in St Albans, it was time to get the train to London. The tube was playing up (ie not stopping at Kings, most inconvenient) so after much train hopping and a long walk we made it just in time for The Lion King! Oh it was brilliant - the staging, the animals...the music and singing...(of course sitting down for 10 mins in a warm comfy theatre, as you can imagine, I did not off a bit in the first half. I was so tired and so relaxed....)
Waiting for curtain up..so excited!!!!
After the matinee, it was still only about 5 o'clock, so we just had to head to Covent Garden and do a bit of Christmas shopping and take in the festive atmosphere, and press our noses up against shop windows we were too poor to go in.....
Suddenly it was time to eat again, and we found ourselves in a sweet little Italian which was very nice but the portions were a bit on the small side....
The M&S at Covent Garden came in useful as a source of picnic goodies...I rang ahead and got Clive to light a roaring log fire, and pick us up from the station...home by 9pm and installed in comfort, with wine, coffee, lots of goodies to eat and a chance to catch up on the gossip..Clive suddenly found his paper very interesting....
I know I was falling asleep again, such a lousy hostess, but I managed to be up first in the morning and make J and K a decent breakfast. Their plans included a Christmas shopping and sightseeing day in London, starting with Harrods..it all sounded wonderful, but still feeling slightly under the weather, and still very tired (what is wrong with me??) I chose to leave them to it and have a quiet day at home catching up on housework, washing and ironing (I repeat, what is wrong with me!!!!) boring I know, but I hadn't been home since Thursday morning....my excuse....
You could tell I was tired, I helped them get their coat and bags together in the hall, gave them both big farewell hugs, then it dawned on me, I was taking them to the station.....
Saturday, my guests suggested having breakfast out, which may have been a diplomatic reaction to me admitting that with going to Bristol and funerals and wot not, I had not been shopping, so there was not much choice..but we all headed to my favourite little coffee chop and partook of their cooked breakfast, and Laura joined us which was lvoely.
After a brief shopping foray in St Albans, it was time to get the train to London. The tube was playing up (ie not stopping at Kings, most inconvenient) so after much train hopping and a long walk we made it just in time for The Lion King! Oh it was brilliant - the staging, the animals...the music and singing...(of course sitting down for 10 mins in a warm comfy theatre, as you can imagine, I did not off a bit in the first half. I was so tired and so relaxed....)
Waiting for curtain up..so excited!!!!
After the matinee, it was still only about 5 o'clock, so we just had to head to Covent Garden and do a bit of Christmas shopping and take in the festive atmosphere, and press our noses up against shop windows we were too poor to go in.....
Suddenly it was time to eat again, and we found ourselves in a sweet little Italian which was very nice but the portions were a bit on the small side....
The M&S at Covent Garden came in useful as a source of picnic goodies...I rang ahead and got Clive to light a roaring log fire, and pick us up from the station...home by 9pm and installed in comfort, with wine, coffee, lots of goodies to eat and a chance to catch up on the gossip..Clive suddenly found his paper very interesting....
I know I was falling asleep again, such a lousy hostess, but I managed to be up first in the morning and make J and K a decent breakfast. Their plans included a Christmas shopping and sightseeing day in London, starting with Harrods..it all sounded wonderful, but still feeling slightly under the weather, and still very tired (what is wrong with me??) I chose to leave them to it and have a quiet day at home catching up on housework, washing and ironing (I repeat, what is wrong with me!!!!) boring I know, but I hadn't been home since Thursday morning....my excuse....
You could tell I was tired, I helped them get their coat and bags together in the hall, gave them both big farewell hugs, then it dawned on me, I was taking them to the station.....
Sunday, November 26, 2006
In the midst of death..there are flowers...
I felt in the mood for buying flowers. At the M&S stop I bought two pretty cyclamens in sparkly Christmas pots, one for Caroline, one for my aunty. Then two bunches of deep red roses, one each for my two cousins, whose mother's funeral I was going to. (With me so far? Good.) The roses got put in water overnight at Caroline's and seemed to be surviving well.
However, my plan was, on my way home from the funeral, to stop in Bristol and visit my mum and dad in their resting place, and see the plaque my brother and I ordered in June - and to put some flowers there, only I had forgotten to buy those - slight oversight! So when I stopped for fuel, I looked at the buckets of flowers at the petrol station, and my eyes fell on a simple bunch of bright yellow rose buds - less is more - and I thought my mum would like them, looking spring like on a lousy November day.
My brother decided to head straight off home after the funeral - it was getting dark and stormy, Friday night traffic on the M25 and all that, yuck, so I was going to go on my own. However, my cousin Johnny and wife Jean would not hear of that, and insisted on coming with me.
Within the hour we were stood on the edge of Lawn E, huddled together for warmth, and there, sure enough, in the little wall edging the lawn, was the plaque dedicated to my parents. In the top of the wall was a hole, where a silver vase ought to be but there was none. Someone else had an empty vase, so I 'borrowed it' from their plaque - I did ask nicely and they didn't say no....
As I took the flowers out of the cellophane and put them in the vase, my cousin asked if I would like him to say a few words to mark the occasion. (At this point something occured to me and I almost got the giggles but surpressed the urge....read on...) Actually I wanted to say no, it's ok thanks, I'll just stand here with my thoughts, but that seemed churlish, so I said, yes please, and braced myseelf for what he might say, it might be deep and meaningful and I wanted to laugh...
He held my hand tight and said, 'We are here to pay our respects to Pete and Bette......you were both cantankerous old buggers in your time, and we are trying our best to hold up the family tradition...' at this point we had a knowing smile...Johnny said a couple more nice things..nothing too slushy, then I said, 'Can I say something now?' 'Yes of course,' says Johnny, squeezing my hand tighter by way of comfort in case I was going to get upset.
'Can I just ask my mum to forgive me, because as I put the flowers in the vase, I realised..they are made of plastic!!!!'
Johnny and Jean stared at my plastic roses blowing in the wind. 'Did you not know?' they said. 'No, I was looking amongst all the bunches of flowers in buckets at the petrol station..how was I to know I had picked out the only plastic bunch..I only noticed when I took them out of the cellophane....
'Can you imagine what my mum would be saying...Sal, fancy buying me plastic flowers!!!' Really, she would not be impressed. But having a sense of humour..she would join in our laughter....I must remember to tell my aunty Jan, who would also appreciate the irony...
We all bid mum and dad farewell, had lots of hugs, and went our separate ways..I put the Seekers on again, and spent the next four hours queueing on the motorway in dark and rain with fifty thousand others..finally getting home at 7.30pm, two minutes ahead of Jo and Karen who were coming to stay the weekend..and I sang all the way.
Finally, a pic of the flowers. Class. Pure class.
However, my plan was, on my way home from the funeral, to stop in Bristol and visit my mum and dad in their resting place, and see the plaque my brother and I ordered in June - and to put some flowers there, only I had forgotten to buy those - slight oversight! So when I stopped for fuel, I looked at the buckets of flowers at the petrol station, and my eyes fell on a simple bunch of bright yellow rose buds - less is more - and I thought my mum would like them, looking spring like on a lousy November day.
My brother decided to head straight off home after the funeral - it was getting dark and stormy, Friday night traffic on the M25 and all that, yuck, so I was going to go on my own. However, my cousin Johnny and wife Jean would not hear of that, and insisted on coming with me.
Within the hour we were stood on the edge of Lawn E, huddled together for warmth, and there, sure enough, in the little wall edging the lawn, was the plaque dedicated to my parents. In the top of the wall was a hole, where a silver vase ought to be but there was none. Someone else had an empty vase, so I 'borrowed it' from their plaque - I did ask nicely and they didn't say no....
As I took the flowers out of the cellophane and put them in the vase, my cousin asked if I would like him to say a few words to mark the occasion. (At this point something occured to me and I almost got the giggles but surpressed the urge....read on...) Actually I wanted to say no, it's ok thanks, I'll just stand here with my thoughts, but that seemed churlish, so I said, yes please, and braced myseelf for what he might say, it might be deep and meaningful and I wanted to laugh...
He held my hand tight and said, 'We are here to pay our respects to Pete and Bette......you were both cantankerous old buggers in your time, and we are trying our best to hold up the family tradition...' at this point we had a knowing smile...Johnny said a couple more nice things..nothing too slushy, then I said, 'Can I say something now?' 'Yes of course,' says Johnny, squeezing my hand tighter by way of comfort in case I was going to get upset.
'Can I just ask my mum to forgive me, because as I put the flowers in the vase, I realised..they are made of plastic!!!!'
Johnny and Jean stared at my plastic roses blowing in the wind. 'Did you not know?' they said. 'No, I was looking amongst all the bunches of flowers in buckets at the petrol station..how was I to know I had picked out the only plastic bunch..I only noticed when I took them out of the cellophane....
'Can you imagine what my mum would be saying...Sal, fancy buying me plastic flowers!!!' Really, she would not be impressed. But having a sense of humour..she would join in our laughter....I must remember to tell my aunty Jan, who would also appreciate the irony...
We all bid mum and dad farewell, had lots of hugs, and went our separate ways..I put the Seekers on again, and spent the next four hours queueing on the motorway in dark and rain with fifty thousand others..finally getting home at 7.30pm, two minutes ahead of Jo and Karen who were coming to stay the weekend..and I sang all the way.
Finally, a pic of the flowers. Class. Pure class.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
A day at the sea side...
After a shower and beautifully prepared microwaved porridge, I bid Caroline farewell, and headed towards the sunny sea side resort of Weston Super Mare. Not quite so sunny today..more wind and rain, but hey...I found myself crying again as I drove, and when my cousin Johnny rang to see if I was ok, I was able to blub a bit and off load some of my emotions. As he and Jean has stayed overnight at hotel in Weston, they promised to meet me in the Crem. car park and take care of me.
From the minute I stepped out of my car and was consumed in a huge hug, I was fine. Absolutely fine. Other people needed me to be strong today, and strong I would be. My brother and his wife arrived - haven't seen them since June!!! All us cousins got together and suddenly there, amidst the tears, was a lot of laughter, and a feeling of family.The service was short but moving, and my aunt's brother Tom talked about their childhood, getting bombed out of Liverpool during the war and moving to Wales. I always thought they were Welsh - another Liverpool connection and I never knew!!!
I had one of those awkward funeral conversations which actually nearly made me giggle..I went to speak to Tom after and tell him how lovely his talk had been. He asked how I knew Joy, and I reminded him I was Pete's daughter..'Oh,'he said, his eyes lighting up, shaking my hand, 'Pete and Betty, of course, how are they?'
We all went back to a hotel overlooking Weston bay - the tide was out about three miles, the sea was a muddy windswept brown, and we all looked out of the window at at a depressing winter's day - except for the smokers who donned their coats and clung on to the balcony rail out in the wind while they puffed their weed....
The buffet was lvoely, sandwiches, vol au vents..and there, in the corner was a huge dish of lasagne..and chips!!! Real comfort food! I had a huge plateful, and realised that everyone else had gone for the cold buffet. My cousin, red eyed from crying for her mum, suddenly got the giggles and said, 'Sal, the lasagne and chips were for the children.' Oh. No-one told me. And why????
Oh, we looked at photo albums, reminisced about our childhoods, Christmases spent together, and laughed at the characters our parents had been, and how we had been lucky and lvoed very much. It was a sobering thought to realise that we are now the older generation....the wrinklies..I felt very middle aged and frumpy next to some of my younger and prettier cousins!!!!
My cousin asked anxiously, 'Thank you for coming, has it been awful for you?' 'No,' I said truthfully, 'it has been good to see everyone and share our memories.'
I am determined to invite my cousins, scattered across the country, to Laura's wedding, so we can meet to celebrate something happy..roll on May!!!
From the minute I stepped out of my car and was consumed in a huge hug, I was fine. Absolutely fine. Other people needed me to be strong today, and strong I would be. My brother and his wife arrived - haven't seen them since June!!! All us cousins got together and suddenly there, amidst the tears, was a lot of laughter, and a feeling of family.The service was short but moving, and my aunt's brother Tom talked about their childhood, getting bombed out of Liverpool during the war and moving to Wales. I always thought they were Welsh - another Liverpool connection and I never knew!!!
I had one of those awkward funeral conversations which actually nearly made me giggle..I went to speak to Tom after and tell him how lovely his talk had been. He asked how I knew Joy, and I reminded him I was Pete's daughter..'Oh,'he said, his eyes lighting up, shaking my hand, 'Pete and Betty, of course, how are they?'
We all went back to a hotel overlooking Weston bay - the tide was out about three miles, the sea was a muddy windswept brown, and we all looked out of the window at at a depressing winter's day - except for the smokers who donned their coats and clung on to the balcony rail out in the wind while they puffed their weed....
The buffet was lvoely, sandwiches, vol au vents..and there, in the corner was a huge dish of lasagne..and chips!!! Real comfort food! I had a huge plateful, and realised that everyone else had gone for the cold buffet. My cousin, red eyed from crying for her mum, suddenly got the giggles and said, 'Sal, the lasagne and chips were for the children.' Oh. No-one told me. And why????
Oh, we looked at photo albums, reminisced about our childhoods, Christmases spent together, and laughed at the characters our parents had been, and how we had been lucky and lvoed very much. It was a sobering thought to realise that we are now the older generation....the wrinklies..I felt very middle aged and frumpy next to some of my younger and prettier cousins!!!!
My cousin asked anxiously, 'Thank you for coming, has it been awful for you?' 'No,' I said truthfully, 'it has been good to see everyone and share our memories.'
I am determined to invite my cousins, scattered across the country, to Laura's wedding, so we can meet to celebrate something happy..roll on May!!!
Friday, November 24, 2006
6 funerals and a wedding....
..in six years, and yet another opportunity to meet up with cousins - we are all orphans now...hugs needed all round.
I decided to leave work early on Thursday, and had a lvoely drive to Bristol, one of those wonderful autumn afternoons with not a cloud in a clear blue sky: bright sunshine and a good clear drive, made it in under three hours. I am so honest, I will admit to playing one of my favourite cds: The Seekers, with folk ballads from years gone by, and I sang along with every one. There was no-one to tell me off, and I was very happy.
I used one of those useful motorway M&S shops, and bought flowers and chocolate and delicious food for later on...
It started to go wrong - well not wrong exactly, but a bit wobbly... when I went past the slip road I would have taken had I been going to my parents' house...and began to wish I could take that turning, and go and find them there, waiting for me, in good health with the kettle on..well, that set me off and I sobbed all the way to Avonmouth!
I pulled myself together in time to visit my aunt, my mum's younger sister, and we enjoyed a cup of tea and an hour and a half recalling memories, and caught up on our news. She was so excited to hear about Laura's wedding! She was thrilled to see me, she misses mum so much, and we had a huge hug, and I went on my way and cried all the way to Caroline's!!!
The food and chocolate puddings which didn't need cooking!!! went down a treat, and we chatted for a while until tiredness and lowness of mood forced me to bed..lots more tears but very little sleep sadly.
Just the mood for going to a funeral!!!!!
I decided to leave work early on Thursday, and had a lvoely drive to Bristol, one of those wonderful autumn afternoons with not a cloud in a clear blue sky: bright sunshine and a good clear drive, made it in under three hours. I am so honest, I will admit to playing one of my favourite cds: The Seekers, with folk ballads from years gone by, and I sang along with every one. There was no-one to tell me off, and I was very happy.
I used one of those useful motorway M&S shops, and bought flowers and chocolate and delicious food for later on...
It started to go wrong - well not wrong exactly, but a bit wobbly... when I went past the slip road I would have taken had I been going to my parents' house...and began to wish I could take that turning, and go and find them there, waiting for me, in good health with the kettle on..well, that set me off and I sobbed all the way to Avonmouth!
I pulled myself together in time to visit my aunt, my mum's younger sister, and we enjoyed a cup of tea and an hour and a half recalling memories, and caught up on our news. She was so excited to hear about Laura's wedding! She was thrilled to see me, she misses mum so much, and we had a huge hug, and I went on my way and cried all the way to Caroline's!!!
The food and chocolate puddings which didn't need cooking!!! went down a treat, and we chatted for a while until tiredness and lowness of mood forced me to bed..lots more tears but very little sleep sadly.
Just the mood for going to a funeral!!!!!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Life is a box of chocolates...
..and someone else has had all the ones you like!!!! or words to that effect....
After a hard day in the office, DC came to pick me up at 5pm to drive to a meeting in a city about an hour away, to meet a committee who are thinking of putting on a Christian festival..and through a friend of a friend, they had heard about us and asked if we would go and talk to them about what was involved. I was in the sort of mood where for two pins I would have not gone. Home, dinner and the sofa seemed quite inviting.
DC and I haven't seen each other for ages, so we engaged in polite catching up conversation, while the expected hour's journey took two hours, and we arrived just on the dot having allowed plenty of time. No, really! We were still speaking (just) when we got there, so that was ok.
The meeting was in a s wanky (oops, make that swanky) council chamber cos the council are on board with the festival idea. So that will make the licence a doddle then...
A mixed bunch of anglicans, catholics, baptists and wot nots all told us about their vision for a 7 day festival for the city, as never seen before, with the churches working together and underwriting it. (The baptist man was all smiley and evangelical and up for anything. the people from the cathedral were very serious and worried about their money...) 'When are you planning to do this?' I asked nervously. July 2008 they said. Oh good.
They were so enthusiastic, asked lots and lots of questions, and you have to hand it to DC, he knows his stuff, and explained everything to them..and even I got a word in occasionally. Wed discussed volunteers v paid security staff, whether they should sell alcohol, licence implications, budgets, and we could help with it all. Their main question was, should we go ahead with this? I said, yes, you have vision and enthusiasm, go on, make it happen!! People on one side of the table were brimming with ideas and plans..the people on the other side were asking about security, health and safety, insurance. 'We are the management committee,' they said apologetically. 'The others (the programme committee, would you believe!) think we are being a bit negative, but we want to get it right. Oh, heard that somewhere before??????
We left at 9.30pm, all talked out, and everyone was smiling and going away enthused but better informed about the challenge ahead. There was a little Italian restaurant opposite the council building, and I was across the road before you could say 'pasta.'
It was 10.30pm before we started the long journey home, and I slept all the way. Such a tired bunny.
Today, DC forwarded me an e-mail.
To: David C:
Dear David
You and Sally were wonderful in the meeting last evening. You gave us a sense of huge encouragement. Thank you both for coming all that way in such a generous spirit. I am sure that we shall want to keep in touch and seek your help.
ML.
Aw. That's what it's all about at the end of the day.
After a hard day in the office, DC came to pick me up at 5pm to drive to a meeting in a city about an hour away, to meet a committee who are thinking of putting on a Christian festival..and through a friend of a friend, they had heard about us and asked if we would go and talk to them about what was involved. I was in the sort of mood where for two pins I would have not gone. Home, dinner and the sofa seemed quite inviting.
DC and I haven't seen each other for ages, so we engaged in polite catching up conversation, while the expected hour's journey took two hours, and we arrived just on the dot having allowed plenty of time. No, really! We were still speaking (just) when we got there, so that was ok.
The meeting was in a s wanky (oops, make that swanky) council chamber cos the council are on board with the festival idea. So that will make the licence a doddle then...
A mixed bunch of anglicans, catholics, baptists and wot nots all told us about their vision for a 7 day festival for the city, as never seen before, with the churches working together and underwriting it. (The baptist man was all smiley and evangelical and up for anything. the people from the cathedral were very serious and worried about their money...) 'When are you planning to do this?' I asked nervously. July 2008 they said. Oh good.
They were so enthusiastic, asked lots and lots of questions, and you have to hand it to DC, he knows his stuff, and explained everything to them..and even I got a word in occasionally. Wed discussed volunteers v paid security staff, whether they should sell alcohol, licence implications, budgets, and we could help with it all. Their main question was, should we go ahead with this? I said, yes, you have vision and enthusiasm, go on, make it happen!! People on one side of the table were brimming with ideas and plans..the people on the other side were asking about security, health and safety, insurance. 'We are the management committee,' they said apologetically. 'The others (the programme committee, would you believe!) think we are being a bit negative, but we want to get it right. Oh, heard that somewhere before??????
We left at 9.30pm, all talked out, and everyone was smiling and going away enthused but better informed about the challenge ahead. There was a little Italian restaurant opposite the council building, and I was across the road before you could say 'pasta.'
It was 10.30pm before we started the long journey home, and I slept all the way. Such a tired bunny.
Today, DC forwarded me an e-mail.
To: David C:
Dear David
You and Sally were wonderful in the meeting last evening. You gave us a sense of huge encouragement. Thank you both for coming all that way in such a generous spirit. I am sure that we shall want to keep in touch and seek your help.
ML.
Aw. That's what it's all about at the end of the day.
Monday, November 20, 2006
What's in that little white pill I wonder????
Remember, almost two weeks my homeopath sent me my second little white pill. The first two weeks, like the first pill I took, there was not much difference..but gradually I have been feeling better and better in myself, more stable and dare I say it..happier. I know some people say homeopathy is rubbish: I had no agenda (Pete!) but I am impressed....over the last three months, since I took the first pill, I am gradually regaining control of my emotions, and my life. It does what it says on the tin! At least what she said it would do....
Today was a good day at work, I was talking with my staff about the new age discrimination legislation, and the fact that you have to be careful what you say at work, because as well as racial harassment, sexual harassment, you can now sue for ageist harassment. So naturally we spent the day being as rude as possible to each other: I asked Nikki something and then thirty seconds later had to ask again as I had forgotten the answer, then put milk in her tea when I know she doesn't take it, and because she is ten years younger than me, there were lots of digs about old age and forgetfulness. I'll sue for hurt feelings, really I will...
I had to go to a council meeting to hear grants for next year discussed by the councillors: it was scary when they got to me and asked me questions in front of everyone, I was terrified I wouldn't know the answers!!! But I did, and they voted me my funding again, with a 2.5% inflationary uplift. Magic.
I left the meeting and went to have dinner with Jacky and family: it was her dad's funeral on Friday and her mum's 80th birthday on Sunday, what an emotional roller coaster. I thought she had invited me round so that she could talk, but no, all she wanted was for me to talk and make her laugh. The assumption was that something funny would have happened, ie I would have fallen out of a small truck or something. They had to make do with the chocolate pudding story, and it seemed to do the trick. They laughed almost as much at me spilling gravy down my smart white top, oh yes, I'll do anything to amuse.....
Came home to find Clive happily full of pheasant stew and yummy creamy hot, melt in the mouth chocolate souffle. It was delicious apparently. Yes, Caroline, get down to S*insb*rys. On Thursday I want to taste the real thing.
Today was a good day at work, I was talking with my staff about the new age discrimination legislation, and the fact that you have to be careful what you say at work, because as well as racial harassment, sexual harassment, you can now sue for ageist harassment. So naturally we spent the day being as rude as possible to each other: I asked Nikki something and then thirty seconds later had to ask again as I had forgotten the answer, then put milk in her tea when I know she doesn't take it, and because she is ten years younger than me, there were lots of digs about old age and forgetfulness. I'll sue for hurt feelings, really I will...
I had to go to a council meeting to hear grants for next year discussed by the councillors: it was scary when they got to me and asked me questions in front of everyone, I was terrified I wouldn't know the answers!!! But I did, and they voted me my funding again, with a 2.5% inflationary uplift. Magic.
I left the meeting and went to have dinner with Jacky and family: it was her dad's funeral on Friday and her mum's 80th birthday on Sunday, what an emotional roller coaster. I thought she had invited me round so that she could talk, but no, all she wanted was for me to talk and make her laugh. The assumption was that something funny would have happened, ie I would have fallen out of a small truck or something. They had to make do with the chocolate pudding story, and it seemed to do the trick. They laughed almost as much at me spilling gravy down my smart white top, oh yes, I'll do anything to amuse.....
Came home to find Clive happily full of pheasant stew and yummy creamy hot, melt in the mouth chocolate souffle. It was delicious apparently. Yes, Caroline, get down to S*insb*rys. On Thursday I want to taste the real thing.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
A culinary tale....
Today was a good day..I haven't stepped outside the door, but it has been a productive day. I began by putting on some good music and continuing to tidy my bedroom, a job started yesterday. I worked all morning while Clive was at church, and was rewarded with a nice bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk, which went down a treat.I realised that a lot of the paperwork in my room needs to live downstairs, but that room, my music/therapy room, is full of my parents' stuff and other crap which also needed sorting out..so early afternoon saw the music going on downstairs and I cleaned and tidied and sorted inside while Clive swept leaves outside.
Yesterday Clive made pheasant stew (or peasant stew as I will call it!) and it smelt quite strong cooking..not sure if I was up for it, but was prepared to give it a try on the grounds that it was cooked for me....
After all that tidying, and some ironing to boot, I was hungry by 7pm and tucked in to a huge plateful..it was very nice actually..very tasty.
James and Amy had been at Laa and Mec's for lunch and they called in for a drink on their way home..I think some work had been done on the wedding invitation..as a H*bit*t textile designer, Amy has been given the job...
Anyway, after they left, I became a bit hungry again for a little something..luckily, Clive had also bought some little chocolatey individual puddings from S*insbrys (he knows me so well) and I decided to have one. The brand name is Gu: strange..still I started eating, and unusually for me, didn't like it much. It was heavy going, and very..well, Gu-ey. Too thick for mousse...too solid for cake...it took a while to eat it and I was glad when it was over. 'Don't buy those again,' I said, 'They aren't very nice.' 'Oh' said Clive. 'Very heavy and sickly,' I said, 'a bit like uncooked cake mix.' (You can see where this is going, can't you?)
On clearing up the kitchen, I went to put the box and the remaining pudding back in the fridge, when the words 'hot chocolate souffle' caught my eye...closer inspection of the small print with my reading glasses found the cooking instructions..to cook that perfect light, hot, choclatey, melt in the mouth souffle...you know I thought I didn't feel well earlier..I feel positively sick now...
Personally, I think its all Clive's fault. He, on the other hand, found it very funny that I hadn't read the instructions, and is looking forward to his hot chocolate souffle after his dinner tomorow night.
B&st*rd.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Oh, what a day....
So much going on in my head, on so many levels..you know, like the swan gliding along, and the feet paddling frantically underneath: so far so good, the outside appearance is quite convincing!! I am doing well...and I have much, very much to be happy about.
A sunny, crisp winter's day, with a bright blue sky, and a visit to Laura's wedding venue to confirm and pay the deposit. I can see why she wants to get married there. It's beautiful. And the gardens should look stunning in May.
Then on to another bridal shop, where a lvoely lady called Helena looked after us and knew exactly what Laura wanted. Everyone asked me last week, when she tried on those beautiful wedding gowns, did I cry, and I said, no, actually I didn't. But today, she appeared in a particular dress, and she and Helena looked to me for comment..I couldn't speak, and a lump came in my throat. Laura looked at me, her eyes shiny...yes, this was the one.
We have a dress.
Back to Laa's house to have tea and toast and tease Mec about the dress we have found...then on to Jacky's, to give hugs and drink more tea, and talk about anything but her dad's funeral yesterday. All she wanted to know about were Laura's plans. She was excited for me. What a lvoley friend. And she will talk when she is ready.
This is the stuff of life. Of human relationships. Birth. Marriage. Death. Happiness. Sadness. Love. We are all in it together.
A sunny, crisp winter's day, with a bright blue sky, and a visit to Laura's wedding venue to confirm and pay the deposit. I can see why she wants to get married there. It's beautiful. And the gardens should look stunning in May.
Then on to another bridal shop, where a lvoely lady called Helena looked after us and knew exactly what Laura wanted. Everyone asked me last week, when she tried on those beautiful wedding gowns, did I cry, and I said, no, actually I didn't. But today, she appeared in a particular dress, and she and Helena looked to me for comment..I couldn't speak, and a lump came in my throat. Laura looked at me, her eyes shiny...yes, this was the one.
We have a dress.
Back to Laa's house to have tea and toast and tease Mec about the dress we have found...then on to Jacky's, to give hugs and drink more tea, and talk about anything but her dad's funeral yesterday. All she wanted to know about were Laura's plans. She was excited for me. What a lvoley friend. And she will talk when she is ready.
This is the stuff of life. Of human relationships. Birth. Marriage. Death. Happiness. Sadness. Love. We are all in it together.
Wedding fever continued...
So, we decided to look at the other end of the market. We contacted D*b*nh*ms in Oxford street, where the assistants tried to put us off going to try on dresses on the grounds that 'there is not much in, our spring collection doesn't arrive until January.' Not particularly helpful. Laa decided we would go anyway, so there we were, last Wednesday evening at 6pm, fighting our way through all the Christmas shoppers as it was a 20% off event..hell on earth..we reached the wedding dept, and looked in silence at the limp pieces of white rags on hangers priced at between £100 and £200. End of season, grubby white rags...trying on handmade designer gowns at £2,000 kind of spoils you...after spending 10 minutes deciding if there was anything at all worth trying, and there wasn't, and anyway we had been completely ignored by the staff, we crept away, and didn't bother with the appointment....
We headed off to S*lfr*dg*s, which was an oasis of quiet, classy calm after Debs' bargain basement affair. It bought out the worst in me. As we crossed the ground floor to the elevator, I stopped at at a large piece of sculpturedbox hedge complete with twinkly white lights and glitter (part of the tasteful Christmas decorations) and called out to Laa in my best common Liverpool accent, ''Ay, Laura, this is nice, it would look dead good outside our 'ouse, wouldn' i'?' and I suddenly found myself propelled on to the escalator with Laura's hand over my mouth, and her staying, 'Stop it, now..'
We reached the bridal dept where I was hopeful of seeing a few nice gowns. The dresses were kept behind frosted glass, so you couldn't even see them without asking, so I went to ask..
Laura noticed that engraved on the glass was the name of the designer, Vera someone, and she took a deep breath and said, 'Come on, let's go, we can't afford these..' 'How do you know?' I ask. 'I just know.' ''Well let's ask and try them on for fun,' I say. 'No, we will embarrass ourselves, nothing under £3,000 here.' 'Really,' I say, impressed, 'How do you know?' 'Mother, I read the right magazines, I know, let's go.' Despite my protestations that gowns designed by someone called Vera can't be that expensive, and can't we go in and play at being posh, and I will talk in my best posh counties accent (I promise not to do Scouse) I am dragged out to Pizza Express round the corner for our tea. I mean supper.
To make up for my disappointment, bless her, she offers to come to the Recycle Collective with me, as I was planning to go alone, so she comes along, tho to be honest, she has been before and it's not her bag. I think that's so sweet of her, to come along with her mum although she has taken so long over her pizza, we are late and we have missed the first session, featuring Steve...I am disappointed as I have taken a taxi from Oxford Street, and think of asking for discount on the door..but think better of it.
I chill out to some amazing music, and believe me, I needed it. I saw the lvoeyl Darren there with his missus, he didn't even take my seat......
On the midnight train home I fall fast asleep, and Laa wakes me up to get off at St Albans. I do lvoe my daughter.
We headed off to S*lfr*dg*s, which was an oasis of quiet, classy calm after Debs' bargain basement affair. It bought out the worst in me. As we crossed the ground floor to the elevator, I stopped at at a large piece of sculpturedbox hedge complete with twinkly white lights and glitter (part of the tasteful Christmas decorations) and called out to Laa in my best common Liverpool accent, ''Ay, Laura, this is nice, it would look dead good outside our 'ouse, wouldn' i'?' and I suddenly found myself propelled on to the escalator with Laura's hand over my mouth, and her staying, 'Stop it, now..'
We reached the bridal dept where I was hopeful of seeing a few nice gowns. The dresses were kept behind frosted glass, so you couldn't even see them without asking, so I went to ask..
Laura noticed that engraved on the glass was the name of the designer, Vera someone, and she took a deep breath and said, 'Come on, let's go, we can't afford these..' 'How do you know?' I ask. 'I just know.' ''Well let's ask and try them on for fun,' I say. 'No, we will embarrass ourselves, nothing under £3,000 here.' 'Really,' I say, impressed, 'How do you know?' 'Mother, I read the right magazines, I know, let's go.' Despite my protestations that gowns designed by someone called Vera can't be that expensive, and can't we go in and play at being posh, and I will talk in my best posh counties accent (I promise not to do Scouse) I am dragged out to Pizza Express round the corner for our tea. I mean supper.
To make up for my disappointment, bless her, she offers to come to the Recycle Collective with me, as I was planning to go alone, so she comes along, tho to be honest, she has been before and it's not her bag. I think that's so sweet of her, to come along with her mum although she has taken so long over her pizza, we are late and we have missed the first session, featuring Steve...I am disappointed as I have taken a taxi from Oxford Street, and think of asking for discount on the door..but think better of it.
I chill out to some amazing music, and believe me, I needed it. I saw the lvoeyl Darren there with his missus, he didn't even take my seat......
On the midnight train home I fall fast asleep, and Laa wakes me up to get off at St Albans. I do lvoe my daughter.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Wedding fever....
Right, I may as well warn you. With this blog, you get me. My life. As it is, good and bad. (Sorry about the bad bits, but there you go.) That's life. And death, actually, has played quite a part. Not my choice, it just happened. To lose one parent, unfortunate, but two? Downright careless...
And there has been other stuff, more funny stuff, which I know my blog readers prefer, and I do my best, really I do to oblige...so many people I meet up with say: have you fallen out of any good trucks lately etc etc....(last March if you want to read it.....)
Anyway, as I was saying, I may as well warn you that, as Laa is now heavily into planning her wedding for next year, there will be quite a lot of wedding talk on my blog.
We have already had a private appointment at 'The Bride' in St Albans, where they unlock the door to let you in and Amanda, or Lucy is your private consultant for the next hour and a half while they bring you in wedding gowns to try on in your own dressing room. Laura and I turned up and were shown up a small stair case, where 'mum' was given a seat in the corridor outside the dressing room, while Laura and Amanda/Lucy went in and shut the door. So wrong on two counts..one, I do not want to go through the next six months being smiled at patronisingly and called 'mum' and two, if I playing for the bloody dress and helping my daughter choose it, I want to be in the room, not outside. Call me troublesome....
So after a couple of dresses had been shown to me through a crack in the door, and Amanda/Lucy had gone to fetch another gown, I knocked on the door (which only opened from the inside to keep 'mum' out) and Laa let me in. When Lucy/Amanda returned I was installed on a chair in the corner, quiet as a mouse. (!)
Laa tried on a series of hand made, silk designer gowns, gorgeous creations with boned bodices and wonderful frocks...mostly ivory in colour, sleek and sophisticated, not at all meringue like..she looked stunning in all of them...the model dresses fitted her like the proverbial glove, and I looked at my daughter clad in a handmade silk dress costing (I discovered later when I coughed politely and asked) £2,000, looking amazing, tall, slim, young, beautiful, and I thought, 'F*ck me, what am I going to wear, and can I lose four stone by May?'
And there has been other stuff, more funny stuff, which I know my blog readers prefer, and I do my best, really I do to oblige...so many people I meet up with say: have you fallen out of any good trucks lately etc etc....(last March if you want to read it.....)
Anyway, as I was saying, I may as well warn you that, as Laa is now heavily into planning her wedding for next year, there will be quite a lot of wedding talk on my blog.
We have already had a private appointment at 'The Bride' in St Albans, where they unlock the door to let you in and Amanda, or Lucy is your private consultant for the next hour and a half while they bring you in wedding gowns to try on in your own dressing room. Laura and I turned up and were shown up a small stair case, where 'mum' was given a seat in the corridor outside the dressing room, while Laura and Amanda/Lucy went in and shut the door. So wrong on two counts..one, I do not want to go through the next six months being smiled at patronisingly and called 'mum' and two, if I playing for the bloody dress and helping my daughter choose it, I want to be in the room, not outside. Call me troublesome....
So after a couple of dresses had been shown to me through a crack in the door, and Amanda/Lucy had gone to fetch another gown, I knocked on the door (which only opened from the inside to keep 'mum' out) and Laa let me in. When Lucy/Amanda returned I was installed on a chair in the corner, quiet as a mouse. (!)
Laa tried on a series of hand made, silk designer gowns, gorgeous creations with boned bodices and wonderful frocks...mostly ivory in colour, sleek and sophisticated, not at all meringue like..she looked stunning in all of them...the model dresses fitted her like the proverbial glove, and I looked at my daughter clad in a handmade silk dress costing (I discovered later when I coughed politely and asked) £2,000, looking amazing, tall, slim, young, beautiful, and I thought, 'F*ck me, what am I going to wear, and can I lose four stone by May?'
Thursday, November 16, 2006
A good evening....
Darbucka's bar.
Good food. Good music. Good company. (Crap picture....) but you get the idea. The Recycle Collective. Ace.
Good food. Good music. Good company. (Crap picture....) but you get the idea. The Recycle Collective. Ace.
Monday, November 13, 2006
A bizarrre coincidence.....
After we got back from the day of Music, Clive went to bed, and John, Jean and I got the family albums out.
Recap, for those who don't know my family history: My dad had an older brother, Max, who was an RAF pilot and was killed at the end of the war, doing a weather reconnaissance flight up to the north pole or somewhere, and the wings iced up, the plane went down and was never found - they weren't in combat, and the flight was not necessary..but boys will be boys....anyway max is Johnny's dad, and died when he was about four months old..so he never knew him. His mum, my auntie Terry, never got over his death. She died about three years ago.
My dad had a younger brother, Bill who simply dies in his sleep about 6 years ago, aged 69. His younger sister, Sue, died of a brain tumour two years later, also in her 60s. My mum and dad subsequently died, and so, at all these funerals, I met my cousin Johnny with whom I had had very little to no contact all my life.
Hence why we were sitting sharing photo albums, and sharing stories of our childhoods, and our joint family history, both learning about each other and things we didn't know, and my cousin's wife also learning stuff about his history she didn't know. Some of this was extremely personal and painful so it was a close time of sharing and listening. This went on until 4,30 am, helped by a few cups of tea and the odd biscuit!
After breakfast on Sunday morning, the phone rang and Jean answered it. I could tell it was not good news, assumed it was a friend of Jeans, so I crept out of the kitchen to leave her to talk in private. Then I heard her say, 'Sal's here, do you want to speak to Sal?' (I will always be Sal to my family!) Who could be ringing there that I know????
I take the phone, and it is my cousin, Tobie, telling me that her mum, my aunty Joy has died. Joy was Bill's wife, and the last of that generation of family to go. Now they are all gone. Tobie was so shocked to find me at Johnny's..'I didn't know you were that close,' she said. 'Ah, all these bloody funeral have brought us together!!!!!' I said.
I have only been at Johnny's house twice in my life, one weekend last year, and now. Last year I didn't know him at all. Now I find, as I stand there, on the phone, with the tears beginning to fall, he walks into the room and puts his arms round me and just holds me. We are family. We have just lost our aunty. And just a few hours earlier, we had been looking at pictures together of Bill, Joy, and Tobie as a little girl and talking about them...what a bizarre coincidence...
And next week we will all be together at another funeral.........
Recap, for those who don't know my family history: My dad had an older brother, Max, who was an RAF pilot and was killed at the end of the war, doing a weather reconnaissance flight up to the north pole or somewhere, and the wings iced up, the plane went down and was never found - they weren't in combat, and the flight was not necessary..but boys will be boys....anyway max is Johnny's dad, and died when he was about four months old..so he never knew him. His mum, my auntie Terry, never got over his death. She died about three years ago.
My dad had a younger brother, Bill who simply dies in his sleep about 6 years ago, aged 69. His younger sister, Sue, died of a brain tumour two years later, also in her 60s. My mum and dad subsequently died, and so, at all these funerals, I met my cousin Johnny with whom I had had very little to no contact all my life.
Hence why we were sitting sharing photo albums, and sharing stories of our childhoods, and our joint family history, both learning about each other and things we didn't know, and my cousin's wife also learning stuff about his history she didn't know. Some of this was extremely personal and painful so it was a close time of sharing and listening. This went on until 4,30 am, helped by a few cups of tea and the odd biscuit!
After breakfast on Sunday morning, the phone rang and Jean answered it. I could tell it was not good news, assumed it was a friend of Jeans, so I crept out of the kitchen to leave her to talk in private. Then I heard her say, 'Sal's here, do you want to speak to Sal?' (I will always be Sal to my family!) Who could be ringing there that I know????
I take the phone, and it is my cousin, Tobie, telling me that her mum, my aunty Joy has died. Joy was Bill's wife, and the last of that generation of family to go. Now they are all gone. Tobie was so shocked to find me at Johnny's..'I didn't know you were that close,' she said. 'Ah, all these bloody funeral have brought us together!!!!!' I said.
I have only been at Johnny's house twice in my life, one weekend last year, and now. Last year I didn't know him at all. Now I find, as I stand there, on the phone, with the tears beginning to fall, he walks into the room and puts his arms round me and just holds me. We are family. We have just lost our aunty. And just a few hours earlier, we had been looking at pictures together of Bill, Joy, and Tobie as a little girl and talking about them...what a bizarre coincidence...
And next week we will all be together at another funeral.........
Sunday, November 12, 2006
And the whole point of the weekend....
..was the Maghull Day of Music. Now an annual festival of Folk Music, held at the Maghull town hall, we headed straight there after our cathedral tour and took our seats by 1pm, ready to enjoy over 10 hours of folk music..well, Johnny Jean and I were setting out to enjoy it, to be honest Clive was there under sufferance..I know, I know, your sympathies are entirely with him: but here are some pics from the day: 
at the top, Flook, during their afternoon slot....then, amazingly enough, Julie Felix..I saw her in concert in Bristol when I was 15..I am now..much older than that, and she looks exactly the same!!! We worked out she is 68..yes 68 years old....being of American Indian descent obviously keeps one young..or maybe it is singing 'The times they are a changing' for over 40 years!!!!
Saturday morning.....
...After another big cooked breakfast, of course, we went here: 
..to the Anglican cathedral, made of Liverpool sandstone, and the biggest cathedral in England. Then here:
..to the Roman Catholic cathedral, which actually, I liked better. 60s architecture is usually pretty bad - and they have had to spend about 6 million restoring it already, as all the 'new experimental' materials used on the roof failed and leaked, and the whole place was nearly pulled down..but I liked it, it felt light and peaceful, and a more human size than the cavernous Anglican cathedral....I particularly liked some of the art works and sculptures around..including this one in a small side chapel, dedicated to children, born and unborn:
The two cathedrals are, famously, joined by a street called Hope...
..to the Anglican cathedral, made of Liverpool sandstone, and the biggest cathedral in England. Then here:
..to the Roman Catholic cathedral, which actually, I liked better. 60s architecture is usually pretty bad - and they have had to spend about 6 million restoring it already, as all the 'new experimental' materials used on the roof failed and leaked, and the whole place was nearly pulled down..but I liked it, it felt light and peaceful, and a more human size than the cavernous Anglican cathedral....I particularly liked some of the art works and sculptures around..including this one in a small side chapel, dedicated to children, born and unborn:
The two cathedrals are, famously, joined by a street called Hope...
Saturday, November 11, 2006
A little more to eat??
Back home about 2.30pm from our adventures, we sit down to a late lunch of home made leek and potato soup and french bread..then Jean fetches the grandchildren from school. They are two gorgeous little girls, P and H, aged 6 and 4 and I look forward to playing with them. H comes straight up to me and says, 'Where is the man?' and I realise she means Clive. I lead the girls to a chair in the corner of the lounge where Clive is hiding, reading his book, and the girls stand one either side of him, staring, wide eyed. As they start taking and P shows Clive her precious teddy bear, and a great deal of flirting is going on, Clive is instantly besotted and I creep away unwanted, and I realise that females start using their charms on the opposite sex far earlier than we think.However, when they sit to watch Frosty the Snowman video, Clive manages to get back to his book, and when I sit on the settee suddenly I am surrounded by wriggling girls and we enjoy a gossip and I am shown teddy, and pictures drawn at school and even a gap in H's teeth.
Later in the evening, after they have gone, the four of us settle down to watch a dvd of Evita, starring Madonna: once my cousin has opened the sliding doors to his fully stocked bar, and we are all given copious amounts of drinks, crisps, peanuts and pork scratchings. The bar is so impressive and the house so big, I start seriously considering it as a venue for the next Ops meeting..they even have an indoor swimming pool...
My cousin's surround sound system with speakers everywhere is turned up to the level of sound he likes, and I worry that I need Doggit's ear plugs. I remember being blasted with Phantom at the same volume last year and nearly wetting myself with shock when the organ kicked in....this year I was prepared and actually the music sounded amazing and I really enjoyed it.
At 10pm it was dinner time, and we sat down to a huge spread of lasagne, potatoes, vegetables, followed by garden grown stewed plums and cream. I am starting to look and feel extremely fat.....
By 11pm my cousin is in full flow and sorting out the next dvd to watch/be deafened by: the choice is Peter Gabriel's live concert staged by the director Robert Lepage: Secret Worlds (I think) it is a fab, fab dvd, the music is stunning, the volume wonderful and the staging amazing. I'm not sure how Clive manages to sit in an armchair in the corner and read the paper...
Friday, November 10, 2006
Liverpool for ever.............
Back in the land of my birth..Sally the Scouser back in a city which I left a long time ago, and to be honest, a lot of it I don't recognise! We packed a lot in..first, on Friday morning, after a massive cooked breakfast!!! We went here: 
to Another Place: 
Clive caused great amusement by walking out to a figure to take photos, then realising the sand he was standing on had turned into a little island, the tide had come in round behind him, and he had to run through the sea to get back to shore...wet up to his knees, oh how we laughed......
Then on to the National Trust forest near Formby, where there are red squirrels...one of only three places in the country where they live..they were beautiful, and after the windswept beach, walking in the forest was calm and peaceful, not a breath of wind, but squirrels running and jumping so fast, they defied my attempts to capture them...
to Another Place: 
Clive caused great amusement by walking out to a figure to take photos, then realising the sand he was standing on had turned into a little island, the tide had come in round behind him, and he had to run through the sea to get back to shore...wet up to his knees, oh how we laughed......
Then on to the National Trust forest near Formby, where there are red squirrels...one of only three places in the country where they live..they were beautiful, and after the windswept beach, walking in the forest was calm and peaceful, not a breath of wind, but squirrels running and jumping so fast, they defied my attempts to capture them...
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Say that again?????
A day in the office with treasurer and auditor having last year's accounts audited.. Mostly it went well, despite the odd mistake, like she came across an expense form not countersigned...you know, three thousand forms are signed by two people, she finds the one I missed....b*gger...
Anyway, after a whole day of fairly usual finance related stuff, and advice on 'water tight procedures' including the concept that my administration assistant shouldn't open the post, but someone else, and it should all be signed and counter signed and witnessed, then no-one can steal cheques....yeah right..a tad over the top?? If I can't trust my admin assistant to open the post - part of the job for which she is paid..what is the point????
As she is leaving my treasurer says, in passing, that I am one of the best managers she has ever worked with (she comes from a business background) and my chin nearly hits the desk hearing such praise from an unexpected quarter. She says, 'Seriously, you are so professional and manage extremely well, you ensure things are done very thoroughly and properly.' I bask a little in the praise and hope it is just a little true....
Anyway, I finally get away and go home and iron and pack and get ready to head off to Liverpool, C and I take a flask of coffee - one of joys in life, milky coffee from a flask tastes delicious, and make the journey in 3 hours door to door, arriving at 10pm. My cousin is due back from business in Poland at 10.30pm and we plan to eat then. Unfortunately his plane is delayed and we eventually sit down to a big meal at 11.45pm!!!! It sets the theme for the weekend - food, food and more food. His wife is a real home maker and provider, and never ceases to provide...I promise, the diet starts tomorrow...
Anyway, after a whole day of fairly usual finance related stuff, and advice on 'water tight procedures' including the concept that my administration assistant shouldn't open the post, but someone else, and it should all be signed and counter signed and witnessed, then no-one can steal cheques....yeah right..a tad over the top?? If I can't trust my admin assistant to open the post - part of the job for which she is paid..what is the point????
As she is leaving my treasurer says, in passing, that I am one of the best managers she has ever worked with (she comes from a business background) and my chin nearly hits the desk hearing such praise from an unexpected quarter. She says, 'Seriously, you are so professional and manage extremely well, you ensure things are done very thoroughly and properly.' I bask a little in the praise and hope it is just a little true....
Anyway, I finally get away and go home and iron and pack and get ready to head off to Liverpool, C and I take a flask of coffee - one of joys in life, milky coffee from a flask tastes delicious, and make the journey in 3 hours door to door, arriving at 10pm. My cousin is due back from business in Poland at 10.30pm and we plan to eat then. Unfortunately his plane is delayed and we eventually sit down to a big meal at 11.45pm!!!! It sets the theme for the weekend - food, food and more food. His wife is a real home maker and provider, and never ceases to provide...I promise, the diet starts tomorrow...
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Not an easy week.....
And it's only Thursday.....not an easy week..a thoughtful week...one of those weeks when my defences are down, I am easily hurt, easily damaged, and once hurt, the healing takes time and is painful. Why do I get like this? Who knows...part of my make up...hormones...or maybe I am a delicate flowers who needs to pull herself together!!!
Tuesday was not a good day..started on Monday evening when I started to lose the plot, and the small things in life started to upset me..and make me angry..I am discovering in recent months/weeks how angry I am underneath, and that is coming out now..my counsellor has said I have been repressing it for along time...the smallest thing really affects me...I lash out..verbally...
After I have experienced such painful emotions, deep feelings, it takes time for me to get back on track - like after having a bad migraine, I feel drained and weak. Fragile. Misunderstood!!!
Strange week - opened the bank statement to find that someone has been withdrawing cash in the Netherlands - on the card which is still in my purse...the week my friend Jacky's dad died: the week I made a birthday cake and shopped for wedding dresses and realised my mum wouldn't be there to see her grand-daughter married, and it broke my heart for a while...the week I wanted big, strong arms round me to take the pain away...I know, that's what I believe in God for!!! Trust in God, not man...
My second little white pill arrived from the homeopath - duly taken and awaiting results..watch this space..she says it will stabilise me..
Better start packing..off to Liverpool, my home town, home to my roots to spend the weekend with my cousin and his wife. Can't wait. Promise I'll come back all cheered up!
Tuesday was not a good day..started on Monday evening when I started to lose the plot, and the small things in life started to upset me..and make me angry..I am discovering in recent months/weeks how angry I am underneath, and that is coming out now..my counsellor has said I have been repressing it for along time...the smallest thing really affects me...I lash out..verbally...
After I have experienced such painful emotions, deep feelings, it takes time for me to get back on track - like after having a bad migraine, I feel drained and weak. Fragile. Misunderstood!!!
Strange week - opened the bank statement to find that someone has been withdrawing cash in the Netherlands - on the card which is still in my purse...the week my friend Jacky's dad died: the week I made a birthday cake and shopped for wedding dresses and realised my mum wouldn't be there to see her grand-daughter married, and it broke my heart for a while...the week I wanted big, strong arms round me to take the pain away...I know, that's what I believe in God for!!! Trust in God, not man...
My second little white pill arrived from the homeopath - duly taken and awaiting results..watch this space..she says it will stabilise me..
Better start packing..off to Liverpool, my home town, home to my roots to spend the weekend with my cousin and his wife. Can't wait. Promise I'll come back all cheered up!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Birthday weekend.....
I think that Laura had a good birthday weekend... I picked her up at 9.45 on Saturday morning and we went into town and had breakfast! Then we went to a very up market bridal wear shop for appointment to try on wedding dresses...she tried on seven or eight wedding dresses and she looked stunning in all of them, absolutely stunning. She will look amazing in whatever she chooses (although I accept I may be a little biased) . I, on the other hand, will need to lose about four stone - well two and half anyway, to look half decent. Given that the wedding date is likely to be Friday May 18th, I had better start the diet and exercise routine right now...
After a bit more shopping I took off to the homeopath for a follow up appointment - I needed it, I haven't been as stable as I would like to be recently (am I ever?), and she is going to send me a second little white pill! But I am on track she thinks..making good progress. I hope this pill reduces the craving for chocolate...
I went back into St Albans and found Laura in one of her favourite shops, FCKU, looking like a rabbit caught in headlights, with arms full of clothes to try on, although she promised Mec she wouldn't go shopping!! I took pity and agreed to buy a couple of things for her birthday, so after a trying on fest, she decided on a pair of black cord trousers, drain pipe like (goodness, are they really back in?) and a skirt. The skirt was pretty but expensive (it's silk, mother) and my suggestion that we could probably get some similar material off the market and run something up did not impress. I love how easy it is to wind her up.....then it was 3pm, goodness, and time for tea and a pastry...
More shopping, followed by proper food shopping, and I got home at 5pm just before Clive and his mum. I cooked dinner for us and then spent the evening asleep in the arm chair...
Sunday morning saw me cooking madly, making lunch, and a trifle and of course birthday cake for tea. We ended up with loads of us for tea and we all ate far too much...
I made poor Laa blow out her candles three times while I tried to capture it with my phone camera... not sure I did it justice but I tried....
After a bit more shopping I took off to the homeopath for a follow up appointment - I needed it, I haven't been as stable as I would like to be recently (am I ever?), and she is going to send me a second little white pill! But I am on track she thinks..making good progress. I hope this pill reduces the craving for chocolate...
I went back into St Albans and found Laura in one of her favourite shops, FCKU, looking like a rabbit caught in headlights, with arms full of clothes to try on, although she promised Mec she wouldn't go shopping!! I took pity and agreed to buy a couple of things for her birthday, so after a trying on fest, she decided on a pair of black cord trousers, drain pipe like (goodness, are they really back in?) and a skirt. The skirt was pretty but expensive (it's silk, mother) and my suggestion that we could probably get some similar material off the market and run something up did not impress. I love how easy it is to wind her up.....then it was 3pm, goodness, and time for tea and a pastry...
More shopping, followed by proper food shopping, and I got home at 5pm just before Clive and his mum. I cooked dinner for us and then spent the evening asleep in the arm chair...
Sunday morning saw me cooking madly, making lunch, and a trifle and of course birthday cake for tea. We ended up with loads of us for tea and we all ate far too much... I made poor Laa blow out her candles three times while I tried to capture it with my phone camera... not sure I did it justice but I tried....
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Tearful....
Not so much angry on Friday....a bit low and, after a meeting with social services and a family with a severely disabled baby, very tearful. Lots of feelings brought up for me, but of course I can't talk about my work here! In the afternoon I had a meeting with one of my funders, and over the next two years my funding is going to go up considerably, which means I can plan to turn my part time colleague's role into full time post, and thus expand the scheme - more volunteers supporting more familes, instead of having to turn down referrals all the time, which is depressing.
I didn't manage to get any lunch, which means when I went to the lvoely W*ffle House to meet DC for our monthly business meeting over tea and waffles, I used the half hour I was waiting for him, because he was LATE, to sit quietly and have a bowl of their wonderful home made vegetable soup. By the time he turned up I was ready for a cup of tea and waffle with hot apple and sultanas and ice cream. Sadly, I was not in a good mood, and so often our business meetings begin with lots of angst ridden conversations about punctuality, communication, respect, valuing, etc etc.....gets me nowhere, why do I bother?
After tea, home to sit side by side at my dining room table at our matching lap tops while we do invoices, expenses, pay roll, on-line banking, etc etc, and frankly I get depressed at how much money he earns in relation to others in the say, charitable sector. It's criminal..............
When we finish our 'short' meeting at 8pm, I realise it is too late to go out shopping, I am too tired, so I go out for fish and chips, and then watch a dvd Laura has brought over: Prime: an ok film, but starring Meryl Streep as a Jewish mother/therapist, and I don't like her in the role at all. The kind of film which is ok to fill in a couple of hours on a Friday night....
Talking of therapist mothers, time to get up, fetch Laura, go to our favourite coffee shop for breakfast, and then on to posh bridal shop for an appointment to try on wedding dresses. Bloody hell, I am going to be mother of the bride.................
I didn't manage to get any lunch, which means when I went to the lvoely W*ffle House to meet DC for our monthly business meeting over tea and waffles, I used the half hour I was waiting for him, because he was LATE, to sit quietly and have a bowl of their wonderful home made vegetable soup. By the time he turned up I was ready for a cup of tea and waffle with hot apple and sultanas and ice cream. Sadly, I was not in a good mood, and so often our business meetings begin with lots of angst ridden conversations about punctuality, communication, respect, valuing, etc etc.....gets me nowhere, why do I bother?
After tea, home to sit side by side at my dining room table at our matching lap tops while we do invoices, expenses, pay roll, on-line banking, etc etc, and frankly I get depressed at how much money he earns in relation to others in the say, charitable sector. It's criminal..............
When we finish our 'short' meeting at 8pm, I realise it is too late to go out shopping, I am too tired, so I go out for fish and chips, and then watch a dvd Laura has brought over: Prime: an ok film, but starring Meryl Streep as a Jewish mother/therapist, and I don't like her in the role at all. The kind of film which is ok to fill in a couple of hours on a Friday night....
Talking of therapist mothers, time to get up, fetch Laura, go to our favourite coffee shop for breakfast, and then on to posh bridal shop for an appointment to try on wedding dresses. Bloody hell, I am going to be mother of the bride.................
Friday, November 03, 2006
Angry..angry...
Was angry yesterday..often we get offered furniture, people looking for someone to take away stuff they don't want..sometimes it is good real charity..good stuff, don't want it to go to waste...etc etc..sometimes it is a matter of taking stuff away to save the owner having to do it themselves and take it to a tip..
People offer, we decline, sorry, we don't do furniture...but yesterday someone rung up and offered bunk beds, and just the day before I had visited a single mum with two boys who needs bunk beds..could I put two and two together...I even know a man at church with a van who would do the delivery if necessary..
I rang mum..yes she would be very interested in the bunk beds....I rang lady, yes, when could mum come and look at them......pause..(what a single mum supported by a charity coming round here?) is how I read it..why does she need to come round? Well, to see if they are what she wants. Pause...I'm sorry, but they are in good condition, and I am giving them away, I don't see why she should need to come round to see if they are good enough, she should be grateful.....
I must not be rude..yes, but at the very least, will they fit in her bedroom? No point in us collecting them if they will not do....Oh..well, they are solid wood, very heavy, you will need two people to collect them, and they will need dismantling before you can take them downstairs... and you can come a week next Sunday, not convenient before then.
Thank you so much I say, putting the phone down. Do you know what, lvoe? We'll leave it thanks, and you will have to dismantle them, carry them and transport them to the tip yourself. What a shame.
Do you know? Still bloody angry today!!!!
People offer, we decline, sorry, we don't do furniture...but yesterday someone rung up and offered bunk beds, and just the day before I had visited a single mum with two boys who needs bunk beds..could I put two and two together...I even know a man at church with a van who would do the delivery if necessary..
I rang mum..yes she would be very interested in the bunk beds....I rang lady, yes, when could mum come and look at them......pause..(what a single mum supported by a charity coming round here?) is how I read it..why does she need to come round? Well, to see if they are what she wants. Pause...I'm sorry, but they are in good condition, and I am giving them away, I don't see why she should need to come round to see if they are good enough, she should be grateful.....
I must not be rude..yes, but at the very least, will they fit in her bedroom? No point in us collecting them if they will not do....Oh..well, they are solid wood, very heavy, you will need two people to collect them, and they will need dismantling before you can take them downstairs... and you can come a week next Sunday, not convenient before then.
Thank you so much I say, putting the phone down. Do you know what, lvoe? We'll leave it thanks, and you will have to dismantle them, carry them and transport them to the tip yourself. What a shame.
Do you know? Still bloody angry today!!!!
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