Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Pride comes before a fall.....

Oh how the mighty are fallen..even as I was blogging at how well I was doing, I was beginning to wobble. Like being on the high wire. Don't look down, don't look down, you're doing really well. But gradually wobbling..emotionally wobbling..teetering on the edge. Why? I have no idea.

But culminating last night, despite my best efforts, to endless tears, when the people - person? you most want there for you isn't. Can't be. Doesn't know how to be? Doesn't want to be? Then, in the middle of my crisis, late at night, an unexpected hug on my phone. A little text from the lvoely C. Like I said, I lvoe my friends, and my hugs.

Maybe my angst, emotions and neediness sometimes pushes some people away. They don't want it. They want the nice bits, the fun bits, not the difficult bits. Why am I so upset you might ask? Don't know. I just am. Too complex to explain. Back to the dilemma..why? Do I battle through it? Or do I ask for another little while pill? Oh, this is how addiction begins, isn't it?

Anyway, Sally P, one bad night does not a lifetime make. It is one bad night. Today is another day. Put your face on and get on with it.

2 comments:

Kathryn said...

Don't think you can get addicted to homeopathy...truly!
And the reality is that you have had huge things to deal with, and still do...and you are going to feel wretched sometimes.
And we love you and long to make things better.
Big hugs xxxx

Rainbow dreams said...

Hugs, and hope today has been better, Katie x