Iona continued....

A few more images of Iona... the lvoely sandy 'town' beach next to the main 'town' complete with shops, pub, tea room and ferry port... someone taking a very serious photograph of a pebbly beach... then, on the last day, a list of words that summed up the week for the temporary residents of the Abbey commmunity...

I am finding it hard this week, I must confess, trying to readjust to normal life without my good friends around me to talk to and share and laugh with... I know the theory of handing it all over to God, and I am trying.... as a good friend put it yesterday, 'I just want you to be happy.' Oh, that's alright then, I'll just be happy then. Of course I want to be happy too.... Iona is somewhere where I felt times of peace, but it was also somewhere I could express my pain, and the tears flowed freely..sometimes too freely, but I just couldn't stop them... but friends new and old were there for me..people I knew put their arms around me, but also people I never met before, who just cared and lvoed me, not even asking what was wrong, but just recognising pain and just being there.

One powerful moment was at the end of the healing service on the Abbey on Tuesday, when D and I were the last to leave because we had been talking and sharing with Simon, the lvoely Iona community member who had helped to lead the pilgrimage that day, and the service. It was 10pm and we were leaving not to go to the pub (!) but the Taize service in the small chapel next door. As we walked through the Abbey, sitting there in the middle of the nave, on her own, was the lovely, lovely lady who had sat next to me in the first Communion service on the Sunday..the Abbey was nearly full and I had been separated from all my friends, and I felt alone and vulnerable. Don't forget I have not done church for a long time now, because I am really struggling with it, my faith, and not finding my church very helpful.....

Well, I just cried through the entire service, was absolutely in pieces, didn't know what to do, except I knew I didn't want to leave, what made it worse was I was on a bench in the choir stalls facing the other choir stalls, so I felt extremely visible and very stupid. As the time for sharing the peace approached, I was despairing, what could I do, I couldn't face anyone...As they announced the peace, the lady next to me just turned and put her arms round me and held me and I sobbed and sobbed into her shoulder and she cried too, and just held me until it was over. Then she held my hand for the rest of the service, and hugged me at the end and prayed for me.

I didn't know her at all, but D did as she was staying up at the McLeod centre where he was.

Anyway, on the Tuesday there she was sitting alone in the middle of the Abbey. We were hurrying to get to the Taize service, and I wanted to say hello, but not stop. But as we drew alongside, I looked at her face.'Are you ok, would you like some company?' Of course she wasn't ok, and yes she needed company, so D and I sat either side of her and put our arms round her. She cried, we talked and shared and just sat together, hugging each other and feeling God in us and each other. After a long talk where she shared her situation with us, and her tears, she asked if we could pray for each other. I was silent for ages. It had been a long time since I have prayed, I realised. But I eventually found the words to thank God for this lovely, warm, generous, lady, who had been right there for me when I needed her, and she thanked God for sending me and D when she needed someone.

She came with us for the last five minutes of the Taize service, and we sat for another half hour, with a few other people (including the lvoely Emma!! who I hope is a new friend) just sitting on the floor of this beautiful stone chapel, surrounded by tealights, singing the most beautiful songs, filling the chapel with four part harmony, and feeling the peace of God with new friends.

We were late to the pub that night. Very late. Now the pub is a different story, a different fellowship....a time of laughter, rudeness, laughter,drinking, talking, eating, more laughing and the walking home in the still not quite dark at gone midnight...... any wonder this week is a teensy weensy bit hard....??