Good morning, Christopher Robin....

Eeyore is feeling a bit better this morning. Thank you for affirming comments on my blog. I want to be grown up and confident and 'ok', and in so many ways, I really, really am: at work I am The Main Man: I am a good manager of staff and volunteers, a good trainer, supervisor, I care about people and they talk to me about their problems and tell me how easy I am to talk to, and thank me for what I do..I feel valued, appreciated, and have good self worth.

But it's funny how in other areas I feel so undervalued, and misunderstood..I mean a certain organisation asked for help in managing volunteers a few years ago. I responded, went to the office, had a meeting with the Volunteer Manager, discussed volunteer management, wrote a report after making some suggestions of changes they should make..and heard nothing more. In some ways, I was ahead of my time...three years or so later, they set up a Volunteer Development Group..but am I asked to be part of it? No. They hold Volunteer workshop days and pay an outside facilitator lots of money..and come up with strategies I had suggested three years earlier.... am I bitter? You bet! Cos it feeds into the bit of me that is so insecure, and the feeling that some people don't 'get' me. (Katie, you haven't met me, it's ok not to get me!!!!)

Stupid things..I wasn't going to mention, but now I have set off down this self destructive path....looking at a certain blog of pics of a crowd of beautiful people in a pub in London...you can see everyone as clear as a bell..except me..you can see the back of my head behind Laura...is it just careless photography..or is it deliberate?????

I am so glad I have friends who do get me. The good things to have come out of the last couple of years of hard times is sharing and opening up to people, in person, via text, e-mail and blog, is that I truly feel I have made new friends who really like me and 'get' me, and that means so much to me...

I didn't share a whole lot of the Iona experience, except that I cried a lot, but friends were really there for me, specially my room buddy, thank you,and new friends too, like P and E, and Martin - now there's a new friend worth a mention - Caroline and I nearly had a date with him in Bristol, but maybe next time.... then S, once I had got to Cheltenham, and shared the lvoley John Bell's talk with me (I asked him where my mum and dad were. asking JB is the next best thing to talking to Jesus in person...) and S was able to his caring, student minister thing, and try and answer my questions and heal my hurt....it has helped so much..then after my recent 'where are they now?' blog, K has sent me some lvoely lvoely long e-mails with her thoughts..and even spent time on her retreat praying for me - now I feel Guilt about taking up time on Her Retreat...). I am very, very blessed and should be always grateful...

The plus side is that people turn to me for help in difficult times. I am great for organising distant emergency accommodation in times of stress!!!