Didn't go to work this morning. Decided I needed some 'duvet' time and also rang C to wish her well for Salisbury and probably made her late in the process. Sorry! Wished my dad a happy birthday and looked at some photos...rang my mum's sister in Bristol who, on hearing my voice, said, This time last year we were with your dad eating cake and celebrating his 80th! We were..and he was asking what we were doing there, and when were we going to go home and leave him in peace....
I was on the phone nearly an hour, we both cried a bit, but we talked about mum and dad and past memories. I realised that is what I needed..no-one here is really able to talk about them, so I don't..and I needed to know I wasn't the only one keeping them in my thoughts. I think I'm not doing well, but I went to work this afternoon and then to bereavement counselling, and my counsellor reassures me I am really doing very well! So that's all right then.
I did something positive yesterday. We are free this Easter, for the first time in four years, so I have booked a little hotel in the country, for me Clive and Sophie dog to get away and do some walking..I actually made a decision and booked it! Shropshire, here we come! (Well, in April, anyway...)
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3 comments:
Oh, many hugs, Sally love. It does get easier, but I know exactly what you mean about there not being people with whom to share the memories...That really does hurt alot, doesn't it.
More positively, congratulations on booking your holiday! I felt so proud of myself when I'd sorted the Venice thing, all on my own...can really relate to the sense of achievement. And Shropshire is wonderful.
Hugs from here too -
and enjoy Shropshire - April is only round the corner........:-)
And more hugs. Here I have no-one who really knew my Gran and i still get hit by at times by the overwhelming sorrow of knowing she won't be there to go and see, sit with, drink tea with (and do the weird chores she always needed done!)when we make it back to the UK. I know it's nothing like a parent. Much love & prayers.
Rach xx
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