So blogging and sending angst ridden e-mails in the middle of the night is probably not a good thing...however, I tried to sleep around 6.30am and probably got an hour or so. Got myself breakfast in bed. Got a text from DC advising me to go to church..probably a good bit of advice and maybe I ought to turn to God more instead of handling things alone. But I am craving time alone rather than a church full of people who probably see me (yet again) dissolve into tears....
C has stopped going to church recently, but this morning he has gone, so I am alone...it seems odd doesn't it, that I say in one blog I am lonely, and yet I crave time alone..some personal space..I am sure you can work out the difference between alone and lonely..I remember our English teacher Miss Smith getting us to put the words into sentences so we learned the difference. Good job I paid attention at school What do you remember learning? I remember learning about the discovery of Tutankhamen's tomb in history (well, it wouldn't be maths would it!)...
Anyway, Merlin has cheered me up..I have been on msn to George and she has cheered me up, I am getting excited about going to a party on Friday, seeing friends, if I am lucky dancing, either on my own or with some hunky men (note you men, I like to dance....) The sun is shining. The kitchen may yet turn out ok. I do not need to consider ending it all. There is too much to lvie for, even of the fine detail of my life sometimes overwhelms me. It's either walk away or deal with it.
I think I will ring my aunt, my mum's sister. Not spoken for a while. She will be pleased to hear from me. this afternoon am going to Jacky's for a cup of tea and doggie walk. There is a folk gig on in Hitchin tonight I want to go to, people I know who would like to come with me can't, so shall i ask C? He might. if not, I will go on my own.
Be thankful for what you have in life, not what you don't have. I have a very dirty and untidy house. I will be grateful, and soon, when the work is finished, tidy it up.
Have a good Sunday. Bye! x
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hope the concert in Hitchin cheers you up. Am not going to this one, but am going to Chris While and Julie Matthews next month - let me know if you are too and we can perhaps meet? My anon email is sunshine(dot)sally(at)ntlworld(dot)com. Don't like posting my real one online as it has my full name, but will reply to you from it if you do feel like emailing.
Glad the morning dawned brighter Sally - sending love from here.
What do I remember learning from school?... quite a lot, but right now very little that stands out from the rest - how sad is that that it wasn't more exciting or riveting?
I hope you get to go tonight and enjoy it, Katie,x
God is best found where you feel able to look for him - so missing church is by no means a disaster, imho.
Hope that the day stayed sunny and that dog walking was happy (my two are writing letters to RSPCA even as I speak, it's been so long since I paid them real attention)
Hugs and loves xx
Post a Comment