Early Sunday morning...

Been awake since just gone 2am. Tossed and turned as they say. Got up finally about 4.30am. Let dog out. Made hot milk. Read, drank milk, ate biscuits. The came on line. Read Merlin's response to my Saturday night blog. Bless him.

So needed someone to talk to, I have written the longest e-mail on the planet to a close friend while tears poured down my face and I poured out my feelings into a laptop. That will make fun reading in the morning. Maybe I should have pressed delete, not send.

Anyway, look at this....symptoms of the menopause....

Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling (see note)
Irregular heart beat
Irritability
Mood swings, sudden tears
Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
Loss of libido (see note)
Dry vagina (see note)
Crashing fatigue
Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom (see note)
Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
Disturbing memory lapses
Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence (see note)
Itchy, crawly skin (see note)
Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons (see note)
Increased tension in muscles
Breast tenderness
Headache change: increase or decrease
Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
Sudden bouts of bloat
Depression (see note)
Exacerbation of existing conditions
Increase in allergies
Weight gain (see note)
Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
Changes in body odor
Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head (see note)
Tingling in the extremities (see note)
Gum problems, increased bleeding
Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
Osteoporosis (after several years)
Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing,' buzzing etc. (see note)

I don't have all these symptoms, but I sure have some of them pretty badly! So having just had a really, really, bad day, and made someone else miserable with my upset, depression and tears, and nearly ruined an already damaged relationship, just because I am so impossible to cope with, it makes me feel worse, how can I put things right when I am so messed up? When will I be a normal person again?