Larks in the park...

I mentioned I had an interesting evening on Monday...DC and I had a meeting for one of the festivals we are working on, and before getting to the committee and reporting on the site spec and site plan we had drawn up, we revisited the park to do a visual check..we had not been since last winter, and now it was mid summer and all the trees were out, making it look very different and having an effect on our plan...the festival is planned for exactly a year hence, July 08, so conditions will be the same...

Thrusting his folder into my hands, suddenly David strides off across the park, measuring out a 27 metre marquee with metre long strides...watching, I know what he is doing, but for the uninitiated he must look like the minister of silly walks..when he reaches the appropriate point, he asks me to walk 30 metres forwards, parallel with him, to mark out the footprint of the marquee..so we both set off across the park, me doing extra big steps to keep up, and we reach the required point. That works...

We plan the backstage area and look to see how we get the vehicles there from the gate...a bit of trackway will be needed behind the skateboard park, so off he goes again, measuring the distance in silly long strides, much to the amusement of the group of yoof sitting in the skateboard park smoking....

As we walk back across the grass towards the bowling club house to check for electric and water supplies, I become aware of a large man in the middle of the park, astride his girlfriend who is lying on a blanket, looking as if he is about to do pressups on top of her...he does indeed lower himself down towards her and kiss her, then back up, commendably, as a gentleman should, taking his weight on his arms....

However, as he continued to do this, it does look remarkably like the sex act only fully clothed and sort of without actually touching...it is 7 o'clock ish and broad daylight with people watching...including me, going, 'what is that man doing?' and DC studying his site plan, going, 'what man?' 'Look,..ooh, look now, he's right on top....' Dc looks. 'I think it's fully clothed tantric sex.' 'Oh.' We continue to measure the backstage area for Heras fencing.

'Ooh, look now, where has she got her hands....' 'Stop looking and hold the pen.' 'Ok. Oh, she's untucked his shirt....he's doing strange things...' . At this point I nearly fall into the park lake, which DC has labelled the Lake of Death and is planning stripey tape along the side....'Will you stop staring and come and look at this small electricity sub station...' 'Ok. Oooh, she's pulling at his trousers, he's still doing press ups, I think he's making contact, don't they care? Do you think they are actually going to do it in the middle of the park?' 'No, they are just practising moves, now will you hold the tape measure?'

Not wanting to stare obviously I get on with measuring the path and seeing how far between trees for the Prayer and Counselling tent, then dodge behind a bush to have another peep... DC notices I have gone and looks round..'For heaven's sake come out from behind that bush, help me find the potable water point here somewhere and stop staring...'

'Oh it's ok, they've stopped, he has stood up and is adjusting his trousers, she is sitting up and smoothing her hair...' 'Good, nothing to look at then, can we get on?' 'Oh hang on, she is sitting up and he has squatted behind her, pressing himself up against her...goodness...' 'Right, the catering vans can go here...' 'Oh yes...oh my, where are his hands now?' DC looks. 'Yes, they are round her breasts, I told you it's tantric sex fully clothed from behind, now can we go?'

We leave the park, and David pulls me after him as I nearly fall in a waste bin trying to get one last look...we get to the meeting, one of the nice ministers opens with a prayer and asks God to bless this Christian festival as a witness to this town, and as we begin our report on the suggested site plan, I try not to think about what was happening on the grass where the marquee is going to be....