being serious for a moment...

Having just read Merlin's blog, about rich v poor, I totally agree about comparing oneself with others around you... most people we know, if not all!! earn more than we do, and it's been a struggle financially to bring up 2 children and put them through uni...unlike Merlin, we have never managed to have any savings, just a huge overdraft and credit card debts, but we have hung in there, and now, for the first time in our lives, we are living within our means!!

But compared to many others out there, we are rich - at least our debts haven't totally overwhelmed us, and I had the capability, opportunity or whatever, to take on extra jobs when needed..at one time I had four part time jobs as well as managing the house and children! At least we could get affordable credit.

But so many families I meet through work are really in the poverty trap, some could only get the kind of low paid menial jobs which would make it too hard to come off income support, they would lose their housing benefit, and it wouldn't be worth it. Yes, a single mother with four kids by different fathers is 'lucky' enough to be housed by the council..but before you berate the single mother about her morals and the fact that she should be grateful...consider the fact that she has been emotionally if not physically abused by four men she thought would stick by her, they may demand to have access to the children when it suits them, causing emotional chaos, but none of them pay a penny towards their upkeep, and the wonderful council flat may be on the 2nd floor and have no garden, or the house may be in an area or street none of us would choose to live in....they have no choice as to where they get housed, often the neighbours are hell, or they are isolated from family support....

That's the point. Money gives me a choice. I can choose where I live, where I go on holiday, what I want to do with my life..(in theory!!)

Imagine a single mum , who has fled violence in her native country, then fled a violent relationship from another city, has settled in a strange town with her three children, has been given a 2nd floor flat in a non-salubrious area, not her choice at all, but the council has given her a grant for decorating materials, and a volunteer has helped her buy them and helped her paint the whole flat. Yesterday I heard my application to another charity has been successful, and I have been able to give her a cheque to get the flat carpeted, and she is delighted...don't worry, the cheque is made out to the carpet company, so she can't spend it all on drink or drugs....

She was telling me yesterday another organisation has given her a holiday..she and the children are going to a caravan in an English sea side town I wouldn't choose for a holiday - sounds far too cold and windy for me - and of course she is grateful - but she is vulnerable and depressed and going through court cases over access which are stressful but she has no choice...and the thought of being stuck in a caravan with three demanding children on her own and no other adult company is daunting..but again, she is trying to be grateful..and yet again I am struck by the fact that she has no choice...

I hope the weather will be kind, the sun will shine, the kids will lvoe the sea and sand, they won't play up and wind her up, and that she will meet some other friendly families who will make it a good week....I wonder how much spending money she has..she is without a phone at the moment as a recent stressful visit to court caused her to lose hers, and she can't afford a new one....