Good things...and bad things....

First the bad... not having an especially good time at the moment..can't tell you the number of times I have completely 'lost it' recently..it really is not good for my health... I can't really blog about what is going on, but life is tough, and I really, really, would appreciate prayers and thoughts and hugs as I continue to struggle with a lot of painful issues.... I have some good friends here who are great listeners and supporters, and I am very lucky. Blessed. Unfortunately, my brain has got into a cycle of focusing on the negative, and doing too much thinking and analysing, and the crying... the endless sobbing..ridiculous... I really know the meaning of the phrase 'my brain hurts', especially when it won't let me sleep and I am awake hour after hour... some nights I simply put the light on and read.....

Anyway, it partly explains the lack of blogging still.... I have had no head space to communicate with....

But there are good things too.... before Christmas we interviewed for a new member of staff but didn't apppoint... well we interviewed again in January, and this time we were successful! So I have another part-time staff member starting in March, she seems very nice and I'm sure she will fit in to our small team - now numbering four - and help with the workload. We are now supporting more families than ever, about 45, which means 45 volunteers to manage, more in training, more referrals than ever, Child Protection issues to deal with, not to mention completely reorganising the office to fit in another desk! More staff to manage (I know only one, but there are only so many hours ina day!) more funding bids to write, more meetings to attend...on good days when I am on form I love my job, thank God for it, thank God for keeping busy.....

I am saying Thank God, but I still feel very separate from Him, and very alone, I really don't know how to re-engage. I wanted to go to church on Sunday, but wasn't sure how to after all this time! I will go this week though...that's the plan...

Went to the cinema with a friend, V, on Saturday (she was my bereavement counsellor, turns out after listening to me talk and cry for a year, she quite likes me....) and we saw The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman... I thought it was excellent..made us laugh..but was moving too..worth it just to see the two actors working together..a gem...and makes you think..life's too short, and all that....

Well, I have blogged. I have connected. Time to try and sleep!