And I made a speech too!!

I promise this is the final post about the wedding...I know I have spread The Day across several posts, but it has been good for me to think and reflect back on it and share it with you - makes me appreciate what a lovely day it was, full of memories.....


We did the speeches before the meal, as is the modern way now, so that pre-speech nerves don't spoil the day for the speakers, and they can relax and enjoy their meal.


Clive began as Father of the Bride, very nervous, as he is not a natural public speaker...but as he confidently told everyone Laura had burst into our lives with a bang (yes, I exploded...) on Guy Fawkes night 1986..Laura interrupted to correct him with, 'It was 1980 dad...' which, as you can imagine, brought the house down....


Mec was next, reading from his note cards and telling everyone he was a crap speech write and giver..but he was actually very good....(I digress..a few months ago he had been at our house talking to Amy, James' girlfriend, and I was stunned to overhear him telling her that the one thing she needed to know about our family was that we ate a lot of broccoli, and she had better get a liking for it, cos it's practically all we eat. Apparently he used to hate it, but he has got used to it now.....I was amazed that of all the wonderful things he could have told her about our family, that was it......)


Anyway, blow me, during his speech he thanked me and Clive for welcoming him into the family...and he told the broccoli story, which made everyone laugh...he set it up beautifully..so when the waitress approached the top table with Mec's dinner, and another waitress followed behind carrying a plate covered with a napkin, I was able to share what I thought would be a private joke I had set up..I stood, banged my knife on my glass for attention, and announced, 'Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to welcome Mec into the family with his own personal plate of broccoli.' There was a round of applause and Mec was speechless to have a whole plate of broccoli set before him!!!!


Boz, the best man, gave an excellent speech, telling the two very amusing stories of how Mec first met Laura, and then the story of his proposal to her in New York..before telling them they were obviously crazy about each other, made for each other, and wished them love and life long happiness...


I smiled all day, I was happy all day, until the lights dimmed and Laa and Mec stepped on to the floor to begin the First Dance...then I was suddenly really choked, and after a few moments, had to slip out and have a cry..outside I found my brother's son, a lvoely young man, only 22...when he saw me he gave me a huge, huge hug, and said he couldn't believe that the little tom-boy cousin he used to play with was all grown up and married...him and me both....

For better, for worse.....

I started off quite well...having a few photos taken, moving around, chatting to people, commenting on how lucky we were with the weather (ie it was not raining), sipping my champagne, which I have probably never drunk before...of all the drinks I hate as a tee-totaller, champagne scores high on the 'ugh' stakes, being very fizzy, which I really dislike, as well as the taste..anyway, I persevered, and because I have had just a little practice, working on my alcohol tolerance, I managed to sip it and it wasn't too bad....

But after a few minutes, the excitement of the day, the fact that I hadn't eaten since my coffee and pastry at 11am..and the fact that I really don't drink and it doesn't take much..suddenly I wasn't sure which way was up, the world was turning, I had the desire to giggle uncontrollably...and the soft, wet grass really did become a problem..my heels were sinking deep into the ground, and I was struggling not to fall over....

My family have never seen me like this, and were both shocked and amused...a little voice inside kept telling me not to let my daughter down..so many people here would only meet me this once, and think I was a lush..can you imagine, all these people whispering, 'Look at the Bride's Mother..she's drunk!!' and looking with disapproval....at that moment I was invited back inside to tell the Priory the order of seating at the top table..Clive had to help me up the steps and across the length of the barn..when I came out, James helped me back down the steps, and I was told after what 'good entertainment value' I was, by DC and the GB staff, coming down the steps with intense concentration on my face, hanging on to my hat and then giggling with delight when I made it to the bottom....

I was vaguely aware of various people following me around taking photos...I know they will pop up to haunt me....kind friends took it in turns to hold me up..James, I think, removed my champagne glass from my hands I hadn't even finished one glass, so unfair..) and told me firmly to stick to the orange juice. I agreed. I didn't want to embarrass my family. (Go on, say it......)

By the time we were called in to the Wedding Breakfast, I had not only sobered up but had one hell of a hangover and a throbbing headache. People around me were moving wine glasses and bottles out of my reach, but they needn't have worried. I had Learned My Lesson. I stuck to water, and loads of it, tucked in to my dinner and was soon feeling as right as rain. Never again.....

To have and to hold...

I realise that this is my fifth blog on the subject and I haven't even got round to the actual wedding ceremony! Oh well, no-one can accuse of me of not keeping a storyline going....

As Laura got out of the car, it was time for me and James to take our seats on the front row: going into the barn from the sunlight was like heading into the night: the 16th century renovated barn had no natural light and was lit with lamps and candles..it looked beautiful. The music had stopped, the whole place was silent as my heels clicked on the natural stone floor: walking through the rows, quiet with anticipation I arrived at the front row and took my place next to Clive's mother. I smiled. She looked back at me, face tight, lips pursed like a dog's bottom. 'It's not the same without an organ playing.' Aah. There's the rub. We are not in church.

Suddenly the air is filled with the sound of Pachelbel's Canon, one of Laura's favourite pieces of classical music, and the bridesmaids precede her down the isle. As the bride walks in, I look at Mec's face as he turns to look, and as expected, his face lights up when he sees her. She climbs the couple of steps to join him on the stage, on which Laura has earlier sprinkled cream rose petals.

I take in every minute of the short service, led by a sensible, kind lady registrar, the two readings and the vows taken by the couple: while the register is signed

we hear Heartbeat by Jose Gonzalez....my mother-in-law's mouth pursesd a little tighter. As the marriage certificate is presented, I check my

watch, and yes, the whole service has taken only 15 minutes. I can't believe my daughter is married, it is over so quickly: no prayers, hymns or address....but married she is, and the happy couple, still smiling, start back down the aisle as Stevie Wonder's Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours' hits the air and the congregation (audience?) breaks out into applause. Clvie turns and follows the couple out with Mec's mum, and I join arms with Graeme, his stand-in dad who I have never met before! We introduce oursleves as we walk down the aisle together, and we reach the champagne table, complete with glasses of champagne with a raspberry floating in each one, just as Laura had requested.

I take a glass of champagne and step out into the sunshine.

The Wedding Day continued.....

Sorry I haven't posted in a while..I have been so busy this week and so tired!! Lots of early nights when I usually sit up late writing my blog....

Anyway, I had better finish the story of the wedding..as much for my benefit as yours, as I will print this off one day (like my first blog was printed to use as evidence against me in That tribunal....at least I have got it to read when I am old....oh ok then, older.....) I will print this off and hide it then when I am gone to that Blog in the sky, my kiddlies will read this and discover they didn't really know their mother at all..a bit like the Bridges of Madison County....more like The Coffee Shops of St Albans...ok, I'll work on the title.....

Anyway...where was I..oh yes, photographer gone lunch over (bananas eaten, except I didn't have one....I'll regret that later.....) there was a bit of a panic as the nice florist lady popped in to say she had been up to deliver flowers and on her way back she saw a nasty accident on our side of the A1 and all was at a complete standstill...aah..and Friday traffic is bad at the best of times...the bridegroom was ringing saying they were going a long way round and trying to tell me the way....but then..bless, Amy's boyfriend, he of the ribbon assisting, (see earlier blog) had come back and picked up our bags and driven up to the hotel near the venue to book in for us (I had to get ready for my daughter's wedding and think what I needed for an overnight bag as well..you can imagine how hard that was...) and he then came back to St Albans and discovered that if we joined the Al a bit higher up there was no problem.....

So time to get into the cars..we all helped Laa into Clive's classic Saab, (see pics on earlier blog) and Craig took his place to drive behind in case of emergency...Wedding Tip no 1: every wedding should have someone like Craig who has no official job but is a willing gopher, helping with ribbons, driving bags to hotels, following ancient bridal car..he was a star....and as he has just joined the Met, Clive and Laa had their own personal police escort.....

They waited while I got the bridesmaids into the back of my immaculate car, then, red hat on front seat, I set off to drive us to the venue. Driving up the Al, I could see the Saab in the distance in the rear view mirror, ribbons fluttering, and I thought, 'This is it. Planned for, timed, thought about, dreamed about..now it's happening....'

(Laura had sent an e-mail earlier in the week with a timetable for everyone, to the minute, it was wonderful....so organised....)

We arrived at the Priory in plenty of time, the A1 was surprisingly clear..only because everyone was stuck at Hatfield cos of the accident, we joined an empty road....as is human nature you think, 'Thank God none of us were involved in that,' but then felt guilty and also offered up a prayer for those who were....

Once out of the car I stuck my hat on my head....no ceremony, no mirrors, just hoped for the best!! Now it seemed real, lots of people in their best clothes standing around talking, and people coming up to me and hugging me and saying, 'You look fab' which did wonders for the confidence...now that I was here and it was really happening I was smiling and smiling....and then here was the wedding car, with a smiling and happy Laura getting out, ready to be married.....

Here is a pic someone captured of Laura walking down the aisle:

The Big Day

We were lucky that Friday dawned warm and sunny, despite the appalling weather which had carried on right through Thursday....I was awake early and went downstairs to make Laura breakfast, when a dressing gowned figure and little excited face peeped round the kitchen door... 'I can't sleep....'

We went back up to bed, and shared breakfast while Laura opened some cards, and a small wedding gift I had bought her, a silver necklace, to commemorate the Big Day. The sun poured in the window, we were relaxed and excited....

Just before 9am Laa and I headed off to our respective hair dressers, and met up again suitably coiffured..mine in my usual bob, but nicely done! And Laa with her hair up: out only worry was the wind which was rather strong....

Arriving back home we found the only job we had left Clive and James - putting the bows and ribbons on our two cars - had not been done. Men! I suggested to James that they did it, he got a little shirty at the criticism, and vanished to pick up his girlfriend from the station, and hence to Mec's house for photographs. Laura wanted me and her to do the ribbon, but it was too windy and I didn't want her hair ruined, and why should she??? I got Clive outside, and we appeared to disagree with how to do the whole ribbon thing, with him cutting it when it didn't need it, then the bit was too short to make a good bow...I thought I would probably end up killing him, when bridesmaid Amy arrived, driven by boyfriend, who was immediately handed ribbon, bows, and scissors and told to help.

I vanished inside, to meet up with bridesmaids Amy and Rachel, and all us girlies had a break with coffee, bucks fizz and pain au chocolate....(only I had the coffee.....)

After that it was time to go upstairs and get ready: from my room, whilst putting on the red outfit, I could hear the chatter and laughter coming from Laura's room as the girls got ready...everything felt relaxed and happy....

Within minutes the photographer was here, with his fun female Russian assistant who came and helped direct in Laa's room, taking pics of us all getting her ready: good job it is a fairly large room!!!

After that we were all out in the garden - in the sunshine! - having pics taken, and the photographer commented on how we were all ready, no panic, no stress, and we were all having fun. I was just overwhelmed at how beautiful Laura looked: couldn't take my eyes off her.....

Clive and I were directed for a photo together, holding hands, and looking into each other's eyes....'Not used to doing this' or similar was Clive's comment: Russian lady told me to pinch his bum to make him smile...oh dear....

There was a short time left: did anyone want lunch? No, but I managed to persuade all to have banana each to keep them going......

Altho I cleaned and tidied every room to within an inch of its life, the photographer only went in Laa's bedroom and the garden. But how nice to enjoy a spotless house - my bedroom has never been so tidy! It actually added to the enjoyment of the day. I swear I will keep it like this for ever!!!!!

I will save stories of the rest of the day for another blog..but I will add one more pic..by popular request...here it is:

More about the wedding....

I have not blogged much recently in general, and in particular about the wedding. There is so much!!! Laura and I enjoyed the couple of days before the Big Day itself: on Wednesday we went and had our fake spray-on tans done, that was an experience! Especially having to go round the rest of the day without wearing a bra......

We followed this by a trip to the venue, The Priory, to drop things off and check details. Then to J*hn L*wis to return the white hat (I kept the red hat) and choose some jewellery....there I am trying on necklaces....the assistant gathers it is for Laura's wedding..'Oh, when is the Big Day?' 'Friday.' 'Oh!' She gathers we don't go in for a huge amount of forward planning..I buy a necklace, and matching bracelet and earrings and finally feel ready. I must return the two necklaces bought at two other shops earlier this week or the bank manager really will be round.....

Weds evening I bought up most of W*itr*se, ironed Laa's bedding, made up her bed for her to come home to, and made the lasagnes for Thursday's 'last supper'.....

Thursday I spent all day cleaning and tidying, as mentioned in an earlier blog. I went from total panic that I wouldn't get everything done, to purposeful, deadline driven action, and when I left the house to go and get the car cleaned, it was only ten thirty in the morning and I was nearly done!!!! I bought a car full of flowers and filled every room, especially Laa's bedroom....and I bought a Wedding Day helium balloon for the morning.....

Laa came round about 1pm and helped me finish off a few things, then off we went back to the beauty spa for our manicures and pedicures. It was so relaxing I fell asleep while having my gel overlays done!!!! I have never had nails looking like this, I feel quite posh.....

I had a strange Thursday evening alone while the rest of the family went off to the wedding rehearsal..although I had been relaxed and happy for all of two days, and hadn't actually cried at all, I found myself getting a little agitated, taking it out on a friend in a phone call, and wondering why I wind myself up over little things......

It meant that when Clive, James and Laura came back to eat I was a little subdued and quiet, but no-one seemed to notice...Mec came and picked up the lasagne for him and the best man to eat whilst finishing off their speeches...he and Laa seemed very happy and relaxed....

Laa had a shower and generally had a bit of time to herself and came down in her dressing gown for a bit, before we all decided it was time for bed..I sat on her bed and offered the Night Before the Wedding Bride's Mother's Talk.....somehow we decided it wasn't needed, she had no doubts, knows what she's doing, so I left her to sleep in her own bed, her last night as as single girl....

Tomorrow, more about the wedding day, including a denial of rumours that someone who hadn't eaten and doesn't normally drink, had a glass of champagne after the service and got a little tipsy, and had to be supported at times, much to the embarrassment of her family, and the amusement of everyone else...what, the Bride's mother drunk??? Surely not......surely someone as proper as that, in a smart red outfit and hat would not lower the tone by getting tipsy and almost falling over? No...............................................

Reader, she married him....

...she did it. She is no longer Miss P, but Mrs R. She looked stunning. The sun shone. It was a beautiful day. I only have the photos I took in the morning, with my phone camera, but here are two to whet your appetite....

Dad, and the bridesmaids, about to help the bride into the Saab....

Safely in, and about to set off, happy, relaxed and smiling....

So much to take in, so much to think about, mixed emotions, it all went so quickly. The most important thing: Laa and Mec were so happy....it's all that matters....

Still raining....

Thursday morning. 24 hours to go. Still raining. Where is global warming and droughts when you want them? B*gger the hose pipe ban, our lawn is now about 3' high and we can't cut it as it's too wet. Never mind, says the photographer, we can take photos on the patio. Um....haven't really got a patio....not a photogenic one....Never mind, we can take photos of you all getting ready in the bedroom....OMG....wish I had had professional house clearings/cleaners in...actually I wish I had redecorated..of course I spend far too much of my life crying when I should really be doing something useful like gardening or housework.

So what have I actually done to prepare for my daughter's wedding? Successfully lost weight? No. Made the garden lovely? No. Made the house lovely? No. But over the weekend (when it chucked it down non-stop) I did make a start on the cleaning and tidying, so things are looking better...too late to decorate....

Right, time to get up and continue clearing up and cleaning. Need to finish meals, one for here for family dinner tonight after wedding rehearsal, one to give Mec for him and his best man at his house....need to get my car cleaned at some point, as I am driving me and bridesmaids to wedding, can't put ribbon on car covered in bird crap...

Need to be finished in time for manicure and pedicure appointment for B and MoB.... good job I did all the food shopping yesterday (I am having an open house/garden on Saturday, seemed a good idea at the time!!) And Laura and I had our fake spray tans yesterday..we look fine...expecting immigration officers to call any time cos I look like I just got off the boat from India.....Laura panicked and washed hers off last night!!!

Right, 7.30am, time to get going....oh actually, just weighed myself, I have lost a little weight, but maybe that's more to do with how my stomach has been this week...not good....I'll get the immodium out for tomorrow!!!!

Looks out of window. Dammit, this is supposed to be a summer wedding. Forecast? Cloudy, showers, maybe a sunny interval. But gusts of wind up to 27 mph????? Think of Laa's hair....and my hat!!!

Hello.....

....I know, I've not blogged much recently. The last couple of weeks have been hard: not good. I have been so far in a cave of depression and sadness, and almost non stop crying, I have even embarrassed myself. Lost it spectacularly last Tuesday evening in a meeting with my trustees...so unprofessional.

No words=no blog. Can't explain it....can hardly explain it to myself, never mind you. And everyone is on about the wedding, I must be happy, I must be excited..and of course I am, underneath, but on top so very unhappy, and it makes it worse when I should be happy, so I feel awful, and guilty, and that makes me cry with despair, cos it shouldn't be like this...and so it goes on.

Today, I haven't cried. All day! Been in meetings, gave a talk on my charity this evening...feel so much better. I can do this. I can be MOTB. And I checked the on-line weather forecast - no rain on Friday!!! After 10 days of continuous rain, I have caught myself saying, Please God, don't let it rain on Friday, not on Laura's wedding day. Then I feel embarrassed, and I hear God saying..not another one about the weather...ok, of course, when there are awful things happening in the world and people are sick and dying, of course I'll make sure it doesn't rain near St Albans on Friday, no problem. Ttch..just what kind of God do I believe in????

Bless the little chincillas.....

So there is the lvoely Steve, perched in front of the telly, next to the fire place, ready to go..note the ambient lighting (lava lamp placed lvoeingly on his speaker.....)

I had 20 people in my front room! Oh, and in my back room too, they are all in one..you can just see the lucky few who got the cosy sofas..the other 14 were on chairs down the dining room end!!!

Steve was a gem, an original, who charmed not only with his music, but also his chat, the amusing stream of consciousness between numbers, causing the audience members to be entranced by the mellow sounds, and roll about laughing in between. Particularly entertaining was Steve's explanation of how he achieved all those amazing sounds, layer upon layer, using one little black box with blinking lights on, and a row of foot pedals (not forgetting the guitar of course...) He plays a line or two of music, presses a foot pedal, a bit of food drops down for the chinchillas, and they in return play back the line of music....there are quite a few in there, and they are all well trained and were note perfect..worry not, no chinchillas were harmed in the making of this music.....

I had a house full of friends, neighbours, trustees, Steve's friends (sadly not his mother, who thought it was next week.....) who enjoyed wine, music, lasagne, more music, delicious puddings: they brought raffle tickets too (no charity evening is complete without a raffle...) and Steve sold quite a few CDs and by the end of the evening had several new fans, and all thought my house concert was one of the most original and enjoyable occasions on the planet.

You can see how much someone was enjoying himself....

Which we all did of course. And I have made about £120 for my charity. Roll on the next one.....

Thanks, small curate....

I was sitting in bed reading blogs, early on Sunday morning, when I came across the small curate's blog, talking about Stuart Maconie's new book Pies and Prejudice, about the north/south divide....now being a Scouser born and bred, but living down south and now preferring quiche and cappuccinos to pie and chips....and having bred two children who are southerners through and through, and who are rude and prejudiced about anyone north of watford..I wanted to read this book and re-connect with my roots...and I know it will be a humorous read..it's written by a northerner!

Thanks to the wonders of the internet, I was able to click on small curate's link, get my credit card out, and before 8am I had purchased said book....and despite any misgivings of giving scousers my credit card details..my trust was not misplaced and said book has arrived in the post....a treasure...I'll let you know....