And there it was ...gone...

..And I am home again, jiggity jig, it seemed a long time there. but once I'm home, it's nothing, a blink of an eye, over for another year. It's hard, coming home. Re-engaging. I so didn't want to. GB is my space, 10 days of being away, being free, being me..and mostly loving it, mostly being fine...but then there are the hard times, the difficult bits, and the tears at the end because I am simply over tired...as DC said, now he knows the true meaning of being 'tired and emotional'. And it has nothing to do with alcohol!!!!

I lvoe the people, I lvoe the place, I lvoe the scenery, the sunshine, the energy, the passion, the commitment, the interaction, the hugs, the work, helping people, being part of something...I lvoed making things work, being part of a team, being hugged, having people tell me how well I looked, that I had lost weight, that I looked good...I enjoyed feeling better, clocking that one festival I was over emotional because my parents were so ill and I was so worried about them I was in pieces....then there was the festival a couple of months after they had both died, and I was in emotional free fall....then there was the year of clearing and emptying their house, and the next festival I was still fragile, and trying to put the pieces of me back together....then this year.....

I was dreading it if the truth be known. Would I still be like that? Would the pressure of GB, the expectations and work and relationships, would it get to me? How would it be without George? Would I have to decide for the good of others that I really couldn't handle it anymore? But it was ok, better than I expected. I smiled a lot. I enjoyed it. Enjoyed working, enjoyed socialising, enjoyed being. And I coped. Sleeping in a decent bed with a hot shower in the morning helped, I grant you.... I hope I did ok. I enjoyed it.

Downside? I didn't see enough of the festival. Again. Not sure how it happens. The only real downside. Didn't spend time with people I wanted to spend time with....where does the time go? Lost my treasured GB hoody sweat at the Tiny Tea Tent and it wasn't handed in. (Stick, can I borrow yours?) And lastly, to my regret, I hate myself, i did so well until the last night, then I got cross and upset and over tired and the tears wouldn't stop, when it was time to party, I wanted to be having a good time..a bit of me knew that I should just go to bed, but like a small child, I wanted to stay up and join in the party....sorry to those who witnessed the lack of self control....I am so cross with myself...but then, the rest of the time, I did ok...didn't I???