They're in!

If you compare this picture of the kitchen with the one on the blog below, you will see a slight difference..Amy cooking us some lunch!! Yes, after six months of hard graft, they are in their flat...not totally finished... we spent a cold, wet, gale force winds Bank Holiday Monday in the flat while James and Clive did a few more jobs, Laa, Amy and me lounged about and watched 'The Sound of Music' on the TV..well, it had to be done, they had never seen it, and it's just a classic!! They also had to admit that despite trying, there was nothing else on worth watching....they tolerated my adoration for this classic childhood favourite..but when I joined in the songs..well you have to, don't you, James came and told me I was spoiling it for the other children, and would I please keep quiet.....why is, when the nun sings 'Climb Every Mountain..til you find your dream,' I had tears in my eyes, and the others are wetting themselves laughing at the corniness of it?? Oh, I forgot to mention, son in law Mec was there, and he had to suffer it too.... and I think, from the look on his face for the whole 3 hours, suffer was the word. he should have just thought of his Favourite Things.....

The best picture of all.....

I am very proud of this picture. Taken with my iphone. A quick 'point and shoot' out of the train window. But I think the result is stunning....

Some more pics.....

Oh, the visits to the wee craft shops and wee giftie shops..oh the temptations..all those we cuddly toys, but not a giraffe in sight.... mind you, these mugs were tempting.....

Has someone we know gone into business in the Scottish Highlands??

I saw these hand made Scottish plaques in one wee craft shop (not at all touristy...) and I nearly bought one each for some good friends..but decided to take pics instead and let you work out if tou might have been a recipient..and if so, which one???

So beautiful...so peaceful....

We were lucky with the weather, I know. It was pouring with rain down south, but in Bonny Scotland, we were blessed with the odd cloudy moments, but not a drop of rain. Lots of clear blue skies, and gorgeous views across lochs and mountains...

Getting off the train at a wee country station...

The peace and stillness of a beautiful loch..if only I could have captured the complete silence that was there too...

This stunning sculpture to honour the Commandos, the elite force formed during the second world war, and who trained up in the highlands before seeing active service. It gave me the opportunity to ask a travelling companion, a gentleman aged 85, on holiday with his daughter, about the Commandos, and he was able to tell me their story. He reminded me a bit of my dad... but he was still getting about and seeing life....bless him...

Saturday night ceilidh...not....

Joan announced that there would be a ceilidh in the hotel on Saturday night, after dinner, with a live band. Everyone was invited to dance. Oh...this should be interesting..would they manage without their sticks or zimmer frames? Well, I would give it a go..live Scottish music and a chance to dance a bit..I was up for it.

So we all gathered expectantly in the dining room after dinner, and there was the band.... and the music..well, how do I put this, they were more Jimmy Shand than Peatbog Faeries...very middle of the road, and everything sounded the same...not really ceilidh music.... suddenly people were up and dancing...now a waltz..then a quickstep..the older the couples, the more amazingly they skimmed across the dance floor. They were pros. Now Clive doesn't dance. And I am not waltzing alone. After watching appreciatively for a little while, we slipped out and sank into a sofa in the lounge with our books..honestly, us young people, we just don't know how to party....

Och aye, it's true....

Yes, I admit it. Over five days and nights, I slept my way round Scotland. With more than 22 men. I admit it. In hotel rooms, on trains...and on a coach. Oh, and their wives were there too. Oh, 23 men, including the coach driver. What a tart I am.

You know I have trouble sleeping? While put me on an OAP train and coach tour of Scotland, in stunning sunshine, under blue skies, with the most amazing scenery in the world to look at...and magically, I sleep!!!

It was Clive's choice of holiday, I admit I was not that keen, and when I got off the plane at Edinburgh and got on the coach, the sea of elderly people complete with grey hair (if they had any) hearing aids and walking sticks, did nothing to inspire. I gave myself a good talking to for being ageist. I wouldn't dare complain, 'they were all black' or 'they were all disabled' would I? But I was aware I was showing a certain prejudice towards old age, and I hated myself for it. They were probably lovely people, just like me. (Well, maybe not like me.) But I just didn't feel ready for that kind of holiday. I suppose it made me look at my own advancing years, and I didn't want to. But to harp back for a moment at that infamous GB icebreaker where we all had to stand in a line in order of age, and I was at the wrong end of the line..well if we had done it in Scotland, I would have been at the right end. By a long way.

When Joan, or tour guide, piped up on the microphone, 'say hello to Harry, our driver,' in her cheery Scots voice and everyone went, 'hello Harry!' and laughed with glee, I sunk in my seat and thought, it's going to be a long five days.

But do you know....I enjoyed it. I relaxed, I slept (missed Loch Ness, apparently it's very pretty). But as Joan had tasked us with shouting out if we 'spotted Nessie' I was happy to pass on that one. What I enjoyed, for four days, having gone away with a bad cold, and feeling very, very tired, was not having to think. Or talk much. It was bliss. I was told when to come down for breakfast, when to get on the coach. I looked out at the scenery, in peaceful silence, or slept. Every hour and a half the coach would stop, and Joan would tell us to shop at the wee gift shop, have a cup of coffee and use the loos, and off I would go, obedient to the letter. Then we would stop at a railway station, I would be told to buy sandwiches, then get on the train and enjoy a couple of hours tootling through the highlands, lochs and fields, either looking out the window, obediently eating my sandwich..or sleeping a bit more.

I struggled to stay awake and look out of the window, but by day two I gave in and let myself sleep. The warm coach or train, the gentle movement, the scenery passing by, and having nothing to occupy my mind, was bliss. Back at the hotel we were told when to come down for dinner, ('Our coach party eats at 7pm, sorry it's so late, ' chirped Joan,) and even where to sit. After dinner, there was coffee in the lounge, and by about 9.15pm everyone had hobbled upstairs to bed, and we were left to curl up on a sofa and read our books. Bliss. I was asleep by about 9.30pm so then I turned in too.

Some pics, taken on my trusty iphone, capture some of the magic.... right, everybody back on the coach....

Doing my head in.....

I never understood, really, the phrase, 'he (or she) is doing my head in', or 'he (or she) has really messed with my head', or 'I really need to sort my head out, man.' You get the picture. Because inside your head is private, you choose how you think, and you don't allow people to 'mess it up.' But boy, oh boy, do I understand it now. My head is very messed up. So messed it hurts inside. My thinking is manic, my trying to make sense of things makes me lurch wildly from one emotion to the other, one minute being ok, the next, really not ok.

How do you stop someone messing with your head? I know, I know, don't let them. Walk away. I'm trying.

I decided finally, a couple of weeks ago, to give HRT a go. To sort out the sleeping and the mood swings. The packet of tablets cost me £14.20: twice the prescription charge, because apparently there are two sorts of tablets in the box, two different colours, so you have to pay twice. I took out the thick booklet of possible side effects. Heart attack, high blood pressure, risk of stroke, breast cancer.....worth the risk to look and feel younger. But hang on...they may make me put on weight....add to certain problems I have which make me fatter....oh bugger that, I'm not putting on more weight. I wonder if I could sell them on e-bay?

So when I was in Boots on Saturday picking up my anti-depressants (not that I'm messed up or anything...) I mentioned to the nice young pharmacist (girlie, not a bloke) that I decided against HRT. She asked if I would consider taking a homeopathic remedy. Oh yes, I said. She asked my symptoms. For the not sleeping she found one kind of small white tablet. The she got out a homeopathic book and turned to the menopause page. There was a list of different symptoms. I read down to the one that described getting too hot, mood swings...being sensitive, vulnerable, needing constant reassurance and approval, tearful..ooh that's me, I said, I'll have the cure for that. So i got another phial of small white tablets and I've been taking them since Saturday.

Am I sleeping? No. Have I cried? Friday, yes. Saturday, quite happy and bouncy. Sunday ok. Monday, feeling a bit low. Tuesday, well, more tears. Anger. Wednesday, swearing. Wednesday evening, well, absolutely fine. Let's see what Thursday brings, shall we? I wonder if I could sell the little white tablets on e-bay?

Or as someone said to me today when I described my week of being happy one minute and wanting to top myself the next, as she was laughing, because of course, it's the way I tell it, she said I should write a book.... at least I could make some money out of having a messed up head.....

Oh well, I'll keep taking the anti-depressants. And just between you and me, at the end of the summer, after the festival season, I am making plans. I see travel ahead, a journey into the unknown. Alone. Watch this space. And I'll sell the anti-depressants on e-bay.....

They'll be in by Christmas.....

Another Sunday spent up in London at James and Amy's flat, helping with the refurb...... they bought it at the beginning of last December, and thought they would be in by Christmas... then it was Easter... then it was definitely, definitely going to be this May Bank Holiday weekend... but no.

It has been a lot of work, but we are nearly there...I am a painting demon, also a great putter-together of Ikea furniture..... they have worked so hard, but been so unlucky with just about every tradesman letting them down, expected doors not delivered, then the wrong doors delivered, plumbers not turning up, crap tilers, and now the delay is the kitchen and bathroom wood work tops, 5 weeks they have been waiting, delivery promised last Monday, but now they say the carpenter made an error cutting it, so we are still waiting. No kitchen work top means no sink and no cooker hob, hence no moving in..

Still, it has been fun all working together, taking breaks, walking on Hampstead Heath, meals out at the end of a hard day, and seeing it all coming together..eventually... and since the toilet was installed last week, working has been more relaxed, without the regular runs to the heath public loos..sometimes I made it, sometimes I didn't....

What else has been happening?

So what else have I been up to during the last couple of months when I was in blog silence???

1. Went to the cinema with V. saw The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Very good, very funny, very moving. Recommend it.

2. Took on a new member of staff who started at the beginning of March. At last. We had to reorganise the office and put in another desk, now I have staff team of three. Much needed extra help.

3. Went to C's celebratory party in Bristol. It rained. But we partied, and ate, and shopped and had a ball.

4. Went to the cinema with R. Saw Juno. Loved it. Different. Loved the quirky music. I had a cappucino in the holder one side of me, and a carton of M&Ms (what else!) in the other. I sipped and dipped....and dipped and sipped...and engrossed in the film, made a mistake and instead of putting my hand in the pot of form shiny M&Ms, I felt unexpected warm froth instead, which scared me. I held up my frothy fingers and R had to get her hankie out and clean me up. See I still need a mum.....

5. Had my first pay cheque from SAND after meeting with the accountant. Feel I have earned it.....

6. Went to court and lost my licence. Suddenly my life-style is greener. I walk more. And it seems to be colder, and rain more, or is it my imagination???

7. Went to see Jethro Tull in concert. Brill evening. Old friends and new friends. me and three blokes. In my element. Had fun. Went to the pub after (had coffee....) offered to drive back..wasn't allowed.....

8. Went to GB Ops day..good to see old friends...good to get a few hugs in....

9.Went to see the musical 'Wicked' in London. Slept a lot. Don't bother. save your money.

10.Went to see Kate Rusby at the Cadogan Hall in London. Now that was a good evening....