The weekend continued...

....After a day's meetings and discussions, and everyone happy with the place except no..there was no cooked breakfast..I hear your displeasure, and I will have 'talks' for next year...we all gathered in the Lounge/Bar area for the now traditional Sally & David Pub quiz. I always find this stressful, people take it so seriously, and any show of weakness or doubt about our answers is vociferously challenged....we had done our usual shop in T*ys R Cr*p and come up with little games, toys, 'joker' flowers and bowls of sweeties and chocolates. Are they appreciated? Probably not. Was it appreciated that I didn't bring my guitar, song books and variety of instruments? Probably.

After the quiz I felt stressed and quite exhausted....a little tired and emotional too, but let's draw a veil over that.

Sunday continued with more meetings, lunch and then home....except D and I kidnapped some lucky friends, and took them out for an afternoon treat.....the reaction was just what we hoped it would be!! As Caroline said, the dinner was questionable value for money (although delicious, it has to be said..) but the High Tea was something else.......................

A good weekend....

The Centre in Crewe did us proud. Father Oliver was a lvoely host, gentle, welcoming, but not intrusive. I kept having to stop myself from saying 'You'll have some tea, Father? Oh, go on, go on, ' and falling of the window sill....but it was hard.....

After a gathering and evening meal at the most friendly and welcoming pub we have been to....landlord pleasant, space saved for our group in a corner, food cheap and served quickly..those are the good points...the kareoke and bad, very bad singing, also very loud, and the crowds of scantily dressed 16 year olds and their boyfriends..well, I think they made all of us feel old..... still, you can't get it right every time..I will look for another pub for next year....

We all gathered back at the Centre in the bar area and enjoyed the warmth of the heating and the thick, luxurious red carpet, and people smuggled in their own alcohol, and I hoped Father Oliver would either not notice or not mind. I made sure all glasses were washed up, and bottles disposed of...

However, on my way to breakfast the next morning, he waylaid me, and asked for 'a word', and he was looking anxious. He paused. I waited. 'Um..this hasn't ever happened with any other group...' Inwardly I groaned. Oh, what have they done? I am not organising this weekend ever again... 'What is it Father?' I say in my most concerned and innocent voice....

'Well, there is more money in the bar till than there should be more..more money than drinks sold..I don't quite understand it.....'

I sighed with relief. I smiled. Time to come clean. 'Actually, Father, most of our group are used to bringing their own alcohol to these weekends. But because we used your bar, glasses and facilities, people have put a donation into the till to cover it. Is this ok?'

Father Oliver smiled and looked relieved too..he was obviously in a bit of a quandry..oh yes, you are, oh you are, Father, you know you are....

He was happy with the arrangement, but obviously bemused that we were like no other group he had had in the centre over the last six years. Well, I could have told him that....

Following on....

..you know what I said about people being late..it turns out I had to work Thursday morning, so was concerned about keeping DC waiting as he had to get up north to do some work...he texted me at work and enquired when I would be ready..I escaped at 12 noon, dashed home, ironed, packed, didn't even make a coffee, and was ready by a quarter to one as arranged...and he arrived at 20 past 1. And he wonders why I mind? Spent the first half of the journey not speaking....why am I so tough about this? Why do I care? Why do I let it cause such bad feeling?Why can't I be laid back about it??? Answers on a post card...

I was rewarded with a rather nice meal in a posh restaurant that evening. All the main courses were £19. Yes, £19. I disgraced myself in said posh restaurant by getting the giggles and photographing my dinner when it arrived.....

so..let me talk you through it..on the left, four blackberries with 'jus': to the right, a piece of pan seared breast of duck, and on the top, a small portion of butternut squash (I was looking for it, DC had to point it out), then far right, a circle or two of mashed potato and garlic, topped by a second - a second - piece of duck -how generous - but where is the rest of the duck breast I ordered? Topped by crispy grated carrot and sprinkling of 'jus'. £19? £19? They really saw us coming, didn't they?

Did I have room for dessert? You bet your life I did!!!!!

Things that really annoy me...

..people being late all the time...you know who you are..still, this is me talking, can't remember the last time I was on time for work, and have been late for a couple of visits this week, so I suppose it is pot calling kettle back....I had a visit to a notoriously chaotic family yesterday, yes I was a bit late, but hey, they were in..opened the door a crack and then looked horrified, and said, 'Oh, Sally, I forgot you were coming..it's really not convenient..' Well, I am used to this, it sometimes happen, especially with chaotic families, and at half term, when life's routine is disrupted, and I was feeling chilled, so I say, hey no problem, I'll come back next week. Oh sorry, sorry, mum says, but you really can't come in (if she thinks the house is too untidy for me to see, it's worrying....you should see it when she does let me in...................mind you, you should see the state of mine, pot and kettle again)

Anyway, I say again, it really doesn't matter, I'll see her next week, she apologises again and says I am taking it very well. It's life, I say, no big deal, I'll go back to the office and have a coffee..I am really fine...so I go back to the office. Secretary: Where have you been? Me. Doing a family visit. Secretary: Oh, I wondered where you were, it's not in the office dairy. Me: Oh, I think it is, I wrote it in...... pause while we all check diaries..oh......you guessed..the visit IS down for next Wednesday...now there's a funny thing!! I will tell her, honestly..it will make her feel so much better about herself.....

There I was....

...sitting in the coffee shop next door to the office....it's run by the church next door, by volunteers, and frequented mostly by senior citizens: it does a good job, a friendly, cheery place, with good, nutritious inexpensive food, and volunteers to chat should you look lonely (and sometimes even if you'd rather be left alone, but hey...)..once I was having lunch there and the minister passed by and blessed me!!!! No egg and tomato sandwich ever tasted the same.....

Being behind my office, it's convenient to go and buy my lunchtime sarnie there, but every now and again I actually sit down and have lunch in there. Like yesterday, and while I eat, I like to read...first the church newsletter, then the Baptist Times, then any other Christian magazines on the table..you see I am a compulsive reader, I can't just sit and eat....

So, there I was..eating my lunch and glancing through a Christian magazine. All was well until I turned a page and some rather rude words hit me in the eye. The F word even...I choked on my tuna jacket and turned to the front page to check the magazine. Hmmm. Third Way..but I don't expect such language reading in a Baptist church coffee shop. I am shocked. I turn back to the words to see I am not mistaken..it is an album review. Written by..I scan to the end of the article....one Jude Adam. Well, well, well. I glance across the next page and see a review written by..Garth Hewitt. Well again. No bad language in that article....

I turn the page and see yet another album review. Written by..Oliver Carruthers. Now that name rings a bell too....I think perhaps I am dreaming, and this is a magazine just written by friends and colleagues. I check the editorial panel...yep, some familiar names there too. Well, I never realised I was so well connected...

Then Lee, the young man who runs the coffee shop, came across with a piece of cake 'too small to sell.' He gave it to me. Knowing I am quite partial to cake. (Me and Lee, we are mates.) 'Thanks Lee', I said, 'Can you bring me a coffee to go with it ?' (pushing my luck here...) But he was happy to oblige..but only if I paid for the coffee...

So little to say...

..and so much time!!!! So I have been fairly lazy this weekend - no bad thing! Stayed in bed late Saturday morning after C went to work - which was a Good Thing because the morning started off rainy, but by the time I got up the sun was out, so Jill and I did a sunny autumn dog walk. This was followed by the lvoely Laa coming over and helping me bath the dog - wet and splashy and long overdue....

We were sitting around drinking tea and talking over possible wedding plans when C came back from work, and I was thinking, hmmmm, I have invited J and P over for dinner tonight, a little shopping and cooking wouldn't go amiss..if I can be *rs*d.....to my amazement, C jumped up, looked up some recipes, went to the shops, bought the ingredients, then locked himself in the kitchen with Jazz fm and cooked a three course meal. Me? I ambled about, ironed a bit, tidied a bit, snoozed a bit and was generally a lazy cow. But I did light some candles and laid the table and made myself look beautiful...so I was very relaxed when J and P came, and we had a good evening. The food was brilliant, and the quick fire rude banter between me and P, as good as ever.....

This morning I surprised myself by deciding to go to church, for the first time in months...(not counting Iona and Pab and Em's wedding...) fired by the fact that I didn't cry at all at the latter, I followed C to church in my car and surprised him (as a deacon he goes early..) Two ladies I didn't know were being baptised - the full, total immersion thing, and of course it took me back to my own baptism, in Liverpool, at the tender age of 14....I did get a little emotional, but it was well controlled....over coffee after, some friends who have missed me over the past few months were pleased to see me, and to catch up, which was nice...

Apart from that, and doing more ironing, today has been a chilled day...had a surprise visit from DC who wanted help putting together the agenda for next weekend, and I was happy to oblige. So, another weekend nearly over, and it wasn't too bad at all...but that room...that room full of my parent's stuff and other crud?? The one I am always going to get to work on in a minute? Haven't even opened the door..................

Oh dear...

..been catching up on blogs..ten to eight now, no time to swim. Oh dear. Taking two hours off work this morning to have my hair cut and coloured. I'll probably fall asleep.....

Who said people waste time talking rubbish on blogs..this is all important stuff. And who knows, while I am out of the office, I might just go boot/shoe shopping, just for fun....then it will be lunch time..no-one to take me out to lunch today...oh bother....

Ho hum..filling in time.....

What do you do when you are actually awake at 6.20am and you get a text inviting you to go for a swim..now???? Yes, my friend Rosemarie is an early morning sort of person, up at 6am, often in bed by 9pm....strange....well, I have managed to fill the time until 7.12am, now I absolutely must blog....I could still get up and fit in a swim before work...if only I could be *rs*d to get out of bed...Clive has gone to work (accountants from firm buying him out coming to look at the books!!!)

Now, make sense of this...6am. Wide awake. In bed, warm and cosy, but wide awake. Last night, National Theatre, about 8.30pm, watching play..fast asleep...just like during Will Young at Wembley..during the History Boys...watching Jane Eyre on TV...after work, even, before leaving for the theatre yesterday evening, at 5.30pm...asleep..I am so tired...if only I could sleep at the allotted time...

Mmmm. 7.17am..still time to go for a swim...actually, I think I could lie down and just have half an hour's more sleep.....

Oh, the show last night? Conor McPherson's The Seafarer. Very good....a bit depressing...strange...Jill had to explain the important bit of the plot during the interval, as I dropped off in the vital scene....

Picking up.....

After a not so good start yesterday morning..you know what it's like after a bout of crying...you wake up with eyes closed, swollen and puffy. Took a lot of bathing in cold water to prize them open! Went to a funding conference and spent some time looking round stands and networking, and some time standing outside talking on the mobile trying to sort my life out. Didn't take long...

The rest of the day got better, did some work, and had some things happen which were amusing, in fact would have you rolling in the aisles, but, in order to protect the innocent, I can't tell you..sorry....

Re Big Events: DC and I were supposed to be meeting this Friday to tie up Barn deal, but Jack the Estate agent has been stalling all week, which is worrying. Not helped by the fact that he and DC have just been exchanging voice mails since Monday, they haven't actually spoken. I got cross yesterday and told DC to leave a voice mail instructing Jack to ring me, as I would more likely be available to speak, but young Jack has continued to leave messages on DCs phone...grr...you wait til I speak to him..he will feel the sharp edge of my tongue.....

The second Big Event I could not really speak about until now, is that Husband and family have sold the family business...as from Dec 1st he will no longer have a job to go to...he will be working from home, doing his own thing.....how do I feel about this??? Not sure..used to having my own space...will be a huge change....part, I am sure, of my wobbling yesterday....

BUT: went out with Laura last night - sorry, I know she is my daughter, but she just gets more beautiful every time I see her. Positively glowing. I lvoe her to bits. We went to see The History Boys..(and incidentally bumped into my friend Rosemarie - with a Man!!!! - I poked her in the ribs and accused her of two timing me..if we don't go and see the Barn on Friday we can go for our usual swim and gossip...) anyway..The History Boys..it was brilliant, an excellent film of a stage play...beautifully written by Alan Bennett..very funny, very sad, extremely moving...a wonderful performance by Richard Griffiths..I was at drama college with him, darlings....such nice guy....I do thoroughly recommend the film.

And to make a good day even better, came home and went on msn and chatted with two friends, S and L, and ended up giggling helplessly at the silliness of it all, which was a great improvement on the night before!!!!!

Pride comes before a fall.....

Oh how the mighty are fallen..even as I was blogging at how well I was doing, I was beginning to wobble. Like being on the high wire. Don't look down, don't look down, you're doing really well. But gradually wobbling..emotionally wobbling..teetering on the edge. Why? I have no idea.

But culminating last night, despite my best efforts, to endless tears, when the people - person? you most want there for you isn't. Can't be. Doesn't know how to be? Doesn't want to be? Then, in the middle of my crisis, late at night, an unexpected hug on my phone. A little text from the lvoely C. Like I said, I lvoe my friends, and my hugs.

Maybe my angst, emotions and neediness sometimes pushes some people away. They don't want it. They want the nice bits, the fun bits, not the difficult bits. Why am I so upset you might ask? Don't know. I just am. Too complex to explain. Back to the dilemma..why? Do I battle through it? Or do I ask for another little while pill? Oh, this is how addiction begins, isn't it?

Anyway, Sally P, one bad night does not a lifetime make. It is one bad night. Today is another day. Put your face on and get on with it.

I have such lvoely friends....

I really do. At 10am this morning, the lvoely Dave Sh came to the office inviting me out to lunch. Not straightaway, of course, he had to give me time to do some work and have one or two cups of coffee, but by 12.30pm I thought I could fit him in to my busy schedule. he could see that, after a two and a half hour finance meeting I was pretty stressed, but he did a good job of listening and soothing while I ate my way through a warm croissant filled with scrambled egg, bacon and tomato.

Come to think of it, he did a good job of listening one evening last week when we ate at our favourite Chinese...he ate while I did all the talking...to my shame, the same thing happened last Friday lunchtime when I met lvoely friend Rosemarie for lunch - she is fed up because all this derelict barn business is taking over our Friday swimming and gossip time. So we met earlier over a plate or two of pasta, and I did so much of the talking that she had finished, paid and was on her way back to work and I was only half way through my lasagne....

Tonight, yet another lvoely friend, Stuart, rang, and before he tells you what a gullible girlie I am...he has this trick of pointing at your chest and saying, 'What's that on your top,' and when you look down to see what you've spilled, he kind of blips you on the nose...most people only fall for this once, over Greenbelt, I fell for it at least once a day. Tonight, he said it on the phone, practising for when he sees me next week, and I had to say, 'Stuart, I've just looked down at my top,' after which we were both helpless with the giggles at my gullibility - even on the phone!!! As Stuart giggled, he said, 'What I lvoe best about you Sal, is thatI know you'll still fall for it again next week....'

I do so love my friends. You know who you are. Thanks for the hugs. xxx

And here it is...

In 1478 a bequest of £20 from the Vicar was used to construct the oak rood screen....

The Derelict Barn story..continued....

Is it only a week since the story of the Management Consultant, the Estate Agent, the Farmer and The Lady? I can't believe it! I went along then for the ride, so to speak, didn't take it too seriously, and even was a bit naughty, if you re-read the story......

It's strange how life can be like this....something you are not expecting, and something you are not taking seriously, suddenly comes along and hits you...standing outside that derelict barn last week.....as I looked round and said, 'Can I have my own horse?' I realised that a vision was bring born, a dream was becoming a reality.....and that something might be about to happen......

We went away and talked. We went away and thought. MC did his sums. We arranged to go back this Friday and take another look. MC came back from North Yorkshire on time! The Farmer was showing someone else round the barn when we arrived.....our barn....

Jack, the lvoely Estate Agent (he really is lvoely.....) walks us to the Farmer's house where the Wife makes us tea and we look at the plans. Farmer comes to join us and we talk..'Tell me,' he says, 'What exactly do you do again?' DC's stories of last week have scared F into thinking that large truck loads of sound and lighting equipment will be coming up and down the small lane by his house at all hours of the day and night. He is clearly anxious..I take control and tell him really, what the activity at the barn will be realistically....not a lot!!! A few people, a few meetings, with DC working away a lot anyway, and me mostly not working there at all as I have another job...this seemed to put his mind at rest.

As the meeting closed and Jack was anxious to go to take his girlfriend out in London (rats..)..the Farmer obviously wanted a private word with him...there was an awkward second or two, until I said, 'May David and I go up and have a look round the barn for a few moments, would you mind?' and the Farmer said, 'Yes, yes, of course', and everyone relaxed. We walked up knowing they were going to talk about the other person looking at the barn....

We stood in the middle and planned our offices and meeting and training rooms. We dreamed our dreams. The Farmer came and joined us, and I said, 'Are you interested in talking to us,' (getting straight to the point) and he said yes, apologised for the embarrassment that he was showing someone else round - and admitted that had nothing to do with Jack....

He asked me what my full time job was, and I told him I ran a charity. He again asked about DC being freelance for only three months, and why did we need offices? Again, I answered, and explained that we have been working together for 20 years. Yes, 20 years. It all began in 1983 when the Council of Churches asked me to produce and direct a musical for them, which was put on in 1985. D came to see that and auditioned for the next one, Peter, which was performed in the Albans Arena in 1987..after which we formed our ecumenical theatre company, Staccs, and began performing and running workshops in churches.....I only got that far into our story, DC and I smiling as we remembered it all again (I was 33 and he was just 25 when I cast him as a disciple..he has been following me ever since!!!!!!) and the effect on the Farmer was electric!

His eyes lit up as he told us what church he went to, an ancient village church. Oh, we took a musical there, years ago, the vicar was John..yes, yes, what a lvoley church: I remember the challenge of performing a musical complete with songs, dance and sketches in a tiny old church with immoveable pews and an ancient old Rood screen across the middle.....

Suddenly Farmer, MC and Lady are Howard, David and Sally, and in minutes, in the middle of a derelict barn, terms and rent are agreed, hands are shaken, and a meeting is arranged for next Friday with Jack, the surveyor and the builder.....

As I stood outside the barn in the sunshine, the two horses in the paddock came through the open gate and right up to me to be stroked and admired. 'Hello, lovlies,' I said, stroking their noses...

Who says God doesn't open doors??????

Out of the Doll's House....

..is the title of a book written about the changing role of women in the last century. A fascinating book. The Doll's House in question is the title of the play written by Henrik Ibsen, in 1879, ahead if its time, about a young wife who escapes from her repressed captivity in a household where she is treated as a possession by her husband, and where the whole relationship is based on games playing to keep the status quo.

Watching it on Thursday evening, it was fascinating to see a 21st century audience watch the performance, with many of the women there finding it really hard to witness the treatment of this young woman, there were audible gasps, squirming in seats, and as for the ending...........well, I won't give it away in case you get to see it!!!!

The local amateur theatre company have put on the play, and it is excellent - they give the dress rehearsal night to a local charity, and this time I, or my charity, was benefiting. We had sold over 60 tickets - the play was in the intimate studio theatre, performed in the round - and we ran the usual raffle - after such a powerful production lasting three hours, and a powerful and dramatic ending, it was a bit daunting to have to pop up and thank everyone for coming and draw the raffle!!! But we have made over £500 for our funds..I wended my way to bed at 11.30pm with a cup of tea and a piece of toast, and as they say, tired, but happy.....

One small white pill....

The pill I took was much smaller. Tiny. I didn't mention it at the time.

At the end of July, I had a bad, bad weekend, when I very nearly fell apart completely: unsure if it was a reaction to coming off the anti-depressants and ending bereavement counselling or what....but it was the worst and most suicidal I have ever been. I blogged at the time about me not sleeping and researching the menopause on the internet half the night...desperate to find an explanation for the feeling I was simply going mad...

I arranged an emergency appointment with my counsellor who saw me on a Saturday morning, bless her. I went to the doctor and had loads of blood tests, which just proved there was nothing wrong with me. Medically anyway!

My friend Rosemarie had been to see a homeopath, and she saw the state I was in and suggested give it a try. I was so desperate I was prepared to try anything. I didn't get to see her until after Greenbelt, but the next Saturday morning I went along and saw the lvoely Laura - I liked her straight away. I talked for two and a quarter hours.....really.... (I know, most unlike me....) I told her everything about my life: my parents illness and deaths, children leaving home, home life, work life, relationships, childhood, upbringing, every illness I have ever had, everything wrong with me now, the kind of person I am....easily filled two and a quarter hours! She calmy told me she would do some homeopathic research and find a remedy for me. I paid up £60 and went home.

On Wednesday morning a small packet arrived in the post. I took it to work and opened it at my desk. It contained one tiny, white pill, and instructions to place it under my tongue. I did so. That was it.

I promised to keep a diary of health, emotions etc for a month which I did.

Two days later, on the Friday, I was at the Sugar Hill Blues festival, andI was feeling very crap. Very crap. I rang Laura as I couldn't remember if she had warned me I would feel bad, or did I really have flu? I told her I felt rough, tired, headachee, really flu like..was it the little white pill?? She said, please trust me...the fact that you feel bad is good..it means your body is reacting..it will start to get better..really....

My diary shows that for the next two weeks I had various symptoms, was weepy, up and down..then gradually, over the next two weeks, it records..'felt better today.' 'Felt good today.' One entry even says, 'Bouncy!'. Liz and Caroline commented at The Wedding re the Difference in me. Two whole days and I didn't cry. Not even at the wedding. I sang the hymns. First time in church since Iona and I didn't cry.

My blogs have recorded that I have enjoyed the last two or three weekends. I haven't cried. I have felt more like 'me' than in any time over the last five years. It really is miraculous.

I have never consulted a homeopath before. I had a completely open mind. Some people have suggested my recovery is down to the simply talking about myself for two and a quarter hours...please, I have had weekly counselling for a year...I have done hours of talking...

I went back to see Laura on Saturday, 4 weeks on. I showed her my diary. She said it's the best diary she has ever seen!!!! Her explanation was that the emotional roller coaster and stress of the last few years had thrown my whole system out of line, emotionally and physically, and no amount of counselling, or attempts to 'pull my self together' would help. I had no control over my emotions. Yes, I'll buy that. This pill has shocked my system back in to line. Under my control. I am a normal person again. (Don't say it.....).

I rest my case. I give you the facts. Amazing.

Another good weekend...

..three in a row! Wow, what a turn around. Three weekends when I have not got upset, wehn I have been busy, enjoyed the company of friends, and appreciated the freedom to enjoy life again...Saturday, just pottering at home, coffee with a friend..then food shopping, more pottering, followed by a drive to a local shopping outlet mall, with Jill, which proved to be a slight waste of time because all the shops were closing. Oh I see, 8pm weekdays, 6pm Saturdays..oh shame...

Still, we window shopped and then had a drink in the Italian restaurant, and waited for our men. They came at 7pm as planned, and we ate, and then headed for the cinema to watch The Queen. It was good. I enjoyed it. It worked....

Then home to have a coffee in bed and chat on-line to Liz who is having a problem with her letters on her lap top. She is missing some, in the some way I did when my mmm's wouldn't work....only she is lacking ts and ws I think.....made for an interesting on-line conversation....

Today I had a lie in and was lazy while C went to church. I walked the dogs with Jill, then tidied my bedroom for a bit - long overdue - before going to Laa and Mec's for Sunday lunch. Our first real, proper invitation to the new house. I had the best roast dinner ever - the first roast dinner cooked by my own daughter! With perfect Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes!

After a while we left them to their DIY - Mec painting the front door and Laa attaching shiny new door furniture to it..having looked at some wedding venue brochures in anticipation of next year....

Then on to Jacky's for a cup of tea and a flapjack, where to my shame, I fell fast asleep in an armchair for 20 mins, until her phone rang, and I said 'Sh*t!' and woke up rather suddenly, not knowing where I was!

Back home, and C went to church again, leaving me to carry on tidying my bedroom and happily listening to a performance of Les Mis on Radio 2..oh how I love that musical....

The evening continued with me watching Jane Eyre and being enthralled and longing for a happy ending..oh I think I have to wait until next week for that.....

Are you sitting comfortably.....

..then I'll begin (and try and cut a long story medium). He (MC) rang and asked if I would go with him and view possible offices premises, as now he has been freelance for three months, working at home is not ideal. Yes, I say, I'll come with you. So it is arranged, he says, for 1pm on Wednesday: he has meetings in London until 12 noon, he'll jump on a train and be in St Albans by 1.45 latest and pick me up. (You can already see where this is going, can't you....)

I tell my secretary the arrangements, and it is very worrying when my phone bleeps at 1.45pm, she laughs and says pointedly that it will be MC texting to say he is running late. How well she knows my friends..... he has phoned EA (see previous texts for terms) and put appointment back to 1.20..latest... I go out and get a sandwich as I see there will no chance to eat later, and settle down to wait. 1.25pm the door opens and in runs MC. We jump in the Landy and he rings EA again to say we are only 5 mins away (!) and puts phone down without allowing EA a word in. We drive round a roundabout quite fast and as I am holding on to stay upright, I find myself saying, in a tired sort of way..' You see. this is why I really don't want to be in business with you.... you do this all the time and it is so unprofessional...' MC declares his innocence and says he's not always late.....

We are apparently looking for a farm near St Albans..we find a farm, drive up the lane, see some converted barns but no EA. MC jumps out and runs about looking. I sit back and close my eyes, enjoying the sun on my face, and thinking, why, oh why......

MC jumps back in and starts driving whilst talking to me and phoning EA. Apparently it's the wrong farm. There's another one up the road and so we head off at speed. Once again MC gabbles to EA and puts the phone down. I remark that I hope EA has waited, since we are now almost 40 minutes late....

We find farm, drive up track and there is a lonely looking young man in a suit standing by a barn. Aha, EA. There is also the Farmer, waiting. DC jumps out, says hi to EA, hi to Farmer, shakes his hand, and as we start walking, I hear MC begin his sales pitch. 'Hi, I'm DC, I am a MC, and I run my own events and management company..oh, that's my partner....and...' ...he is walking ahead with the farmer, I am walking a few steps behind (as befits my status, with EA who is young and shyish and so far not said a word). I am a bit embarrassed because for some reason MC is as high and wired as I have ever seen him, and I wonder if he will ever shut up.

I smile at EA and say, 'He does all the talking, and I do all the listening, that's how the partnership works.' He smiles and says, 'I will leave the talking to the farmer while he shows you the barn, then I'll do the business stuff at the end.' 'Very wise,' I say, and we walk on in companiable silence, as I pick my way across the farm yard and wonder if black sling backs was the wisest choice of footwear today.....

We arrive at a derelict barn, and as we join MC and F, it is apparent that MC is still talking, even faster, and F has not yet said a word. MC looks at me as he is talking, saying..'Um, what size of events do we do, Sally..what's the biggest event we have ever done?' I fix him with a beady stare and say calmly, 'Is that really relevant at this point, D, some of us have jobs to go back to.' MC is stunned into silence, and EA has to pout his hand over his mouth and stifle a giggle. But I saw it. He likes my style. 'Why don't we just look round?' I ask, and MC says to F, 'Yes, yes, good idea, you show us round....' and he finally stops talking. F shows us round the barn, I try not to step in the horse poo and we hear the plans for coverting said derelict barn into offices.

We step out the far side and see the space for parking 6 cars (including a soft top landy which is no longer welcome on MC's drive at home) and the storage space at the far end which could be a home for the vast amount of sound and lighting equipment which is no longer welcome in MC's garage at home...the place is growing on me.....

MC is once again talking to the F about all the things we do and what we need the space for..once again I am stood apart with EA. He smiles and says, 'Um...does he do Anger Management?' I say, 'What?' 'I am sure he said on the phone something about Anger Management..' 'No, ' I say. 'Hang on, I am a therapist, I have run Stress Management courses, could he have said that?' 'Oh, possibly, ' he says, stills smiling and looking at MC. 'Only, it's funny.....' he stops talking, and I spookily see where this conversation is going. I put a gentle hand on EA's shoulder. 'Do you feel the need for some Stress Management?' He giggles shyly (I like this young man) 'Well, yes, I have had a really stressful week, and..well, while I was waiting for you, I thought...' 'You thought, I am getting angry and stressed because I have been kept waiting 40 minutes by a man that runs Anger Management Courses?' I say, still with my hand on his shoulder. This is therapy in action in while I am standing in a field in horse poo.

'Yes' confides EA, growing in confidence, 'I wondered if this is how he gets his business...' 'That's right, ' I say, 'He is late and irritating, and winds people up, then I come along and offer Stress Management..that's how the partnership works.' There we are, EA and myself, laughing and quietly sharing a private joke, when something makes MC turn round and glance at us. He stops talking. 'What?' he says, noticing something...... 'I have been telling Jack how are business partnership works, ' I say. 'Oh good,' he says, beaming with pride, 'How?'

'That you piss everybody off and I come along and make everything ok'.

Farmer and Estate agent finally collapse with laughter, and do you know, to his credit...MC joins in.......

We all like each other. I can already see the barn converted into an office, with a large picture window down one side, overlooking the paddock, the sun pouring in, and there is a large meeting/training room where I can run my Stress Management and Assertiveness groups. I turn back to the others.

'Can I have a horse, too? My very own horse?'

Have you heard......

..the one about the Farmer, the Estate Agent, the Management Consultant and the Lady?

You will.......

Will at Wembley

Had a hard day at work working on a funding bid which has to be in this week. But was I downhearted? No!!! For at 6pm I was off to pick up Jill, and we headed down to Wembley to see young Will.....the last time I saw him live was a couple of years ago with Laura, on an outdoor stage..and he was triffic...

I just didn't recognise Wembley Arena when we got there, beautifully lit and fronted by a row of trees with sparkly lights in (just like Christmas) and water fountains which did interesting things and changed colour and everything..inside was just as good, smart, modern and inviting, and not just the stark, concrete mass it used to be. We found a food kiosk, and armed with chicken fillet burgers, chips and a drink, found our seats in the centre of the very, very back seating area. A Long Way Back. The food was delicious, the atmosphere friendly, the support acts good...then on came Will......

Well..I still like him, but I preferred Peterborough. That was a small band and him. Relaxed, comfortable, funny..and a good performer and singer. At Wembley there was the required Big Show....large screens with video clips and films, a team of dancers, strange dance routines, a la Michael Jackson... a really loud band and over production of some numbers, and frankly, the sound wasn't that good..unless it always sounds like that from half a mile away... it was all a bit camp, and Will didn't appear as relaxed..some of my favourite songs just didn't sound the same....

Anyway, don't mean to be hyper critical, am glad we went, but not sure all the High Camp really added anything..I mean, the routine in riding gear.....yes, their bums really did look big in them...

A brilliant weekend...

..It was all I wanted it to be. After a hectic day and a successful AGM, where we celebrated 5 years of the charity, it was home to iron and pack, and head off up the A1 for a Weekend Away. believe me, after the busy weeks I have had, I just couldn't wait.... I whizzed up the Al, speeding past speed cameras, which sped past me in a blur (not totally wise for someone on 12 points..however, I was in a hurry....

I arrived, checked in to the hotel and discovered my room to be at the end of the corridor, 10 yards away from the leisure pool and jacussi.....it was so calling my name..I texted Caroline and said I would see her a minute, and was swimming in the warm, blue water by 7.20pm. It was heaven. A few minutes later, Liz joined me, complete with professional swim goggles and proved to be an expert swimmer. It was only a small pool, and Caroline came on to the side, and in theory, we could chat while we swam..but I had taken my contact lenses out, and I found that without them, I could not hear properly, so had to swim to the side to peer and lip read....

So followed a lvoely evening of presents, food, frolicking and laughter in Caroline's enormous room....just what the doctor ordered!

Then, on Saturday, The Wedding. It was lvoely, truly special. I share with you what would have been a perfect picture of the bride and groom leaving the church..had Liz not decided to take the same shot at the last minute....