Where have all the hours gone....

Mmmm.where has that small puppy gone!! She has outgrown her bed now! Only five months old and as big as Sophie was...she is so lvoely, such fun, I lvoe her to bits, and I get to walk her at weekends.....

I can't remember being so busy, but it's been good.... I've got more than enough work during the day but am also running a Parenting Programme on Tuesday evenings and running my first evening volunteer's training on Wednesday evenings..we've got 14 volunteers in training which is the biggest course ever! The first one was this Wednesday and it was a brilliant evening, it went really well..the group consists of 13 women and 1 man, but you can tell he is going to get on well and really join in.

I've also started a teaching qualification which is run locally but awarded by the Uni of Central Lancashire! Apparently I will get a proper student card which means discounts when shopping! Top Shop here I come! The downside is I have an essay to finish this weekend and a lesson plan to write. But I'm doing more training for the national organisation (went to a lovely residential in Cheltenham in Jan, and will be back there in March...) so it's all good.

I have more good days than bad days, tho yesterday was a low point..but I am dealing with stuff and getting there, I think...been swimming this evening so feel better, altho I am depressed about my weight..but only I can do something about that!

I know, I know, I said I would write more regularly this year, but it hasn't happened.... still, it's good to be busy and focused, keeps me out of mischief!

Time for bed. Saturday tomorrow! Places to go, people to see! All I need is to find something to wear that fits........

Happy New-ish Year....

Well, it's January 16th. My New Year resolutions were, roughly, eat less, exercise more, be happy, be creative, write more, return to regular blog writing....mmm.. not sure if I have been successful with any!!!

I am much better, after some very difficult months. Sleeping better, more in control and, yes, happier, but then that's not difficult! Seriously, there is a return to the old me, or something like it. I still have good and bad days, but more good than bad. Have I ever said how lucky I am to have such good friends?

I actually did start writing a blog entry back in November. I went to SF's (camp, funny, you know...) birthday/firework party, drove there on my own, determined to be sociable and have a good evening. On the way I listened to radio 2, and heard a programme all about the song 'Hallelujah.' Not only did it have quite an effect on me, soon Merlin had mentioned it on his blog, and then blow me down, if it didn't feature on X factor.... I think I saved the blog entry as a draft, if I have, I'll download it now.... Happy New Year.

Millie continued...

Puppies are hard work. As bad as having a small baby! Eating, sleeping, chewing, pooing, weeing, biting...constant attention and training... we got her on Thursday evening, then on Sunday C went away on business for a few days, leaving me in charge, doing the day and night duties. I was exhausted! I went to work for three hours in the middle of the day, but apart from that was on duty.. very, very tiring.

However, there was fun too, playing, and visitors coming to see the new arrival, and I took the time to do some training. In two days I had her recognising her name, coming when called, and sitting, her reward being a little biscuit treat. I was very pleased with the progress!

By Wednesday Millie was enjoying another new experience..snow! I was also enjoying the space, having the house to myself, a few days just for Millie and me, I pottered about and relaxed in between cleaning up puppy duty. A good few days....

Sadly, by the end of the week she had come down with kennel cough, which she caught from the kennels, and so we had our first trip to the vet. She is on anti-biotics and is making a good recovery..a bundle of energy with extremely sharp teeth and a liking for my toes...ouch ouch....

Introducing Millie....

A visit to the RSPCA soon after we lost Sophie, to show them pictures of the rescue dog we gave a home to 15 years ago, a very happy 15 years, led the girls there telling me about 2 year old lady dog that had just come in to the rescue home with a litter of 8 puppies. She was a lvoely dog, similar to Sophie, and she would need rehoming once the puppies were gone. We agreed to come in and see her the next week.

So in we went, Laura, Clive and I, to see the mummy dog who was lovely. But Clive picked up one of the little black puppies..and was smitten. I took him outside for a talk. Do we really want a puppy? They are hard work. It will grow big....I was the sensible, rational one, he was soft and wanting a puppy..the biggest role reversal in the world!!!

And so it was, on Thursday evening, that Millie came into our lives. And our kitchen.....

Millie sitting in the office at the RSPCA, quietly waiting to be collected....

Millie asleep in her basket in the kitchen, worn out by the process of coming to her new home....aaaah.....

How to lose 13 years in an hour....

I left work early on Wednesday to have a facial. I had seen the special offer in the hairdressers on Friday, and signed up immediately. A special dermatological facial, 75 minutes, for half price..with face, neck and shoulder massage...and the facial was especially for 'mature' skin..all right, old people....just what I needed...

I arrived to be greeted by Charlotte, the beauty therapist, young, blonde and immaculately made up. I told her I felt my face had suffered recently..stress, lack of sleep, age..I looked saggy and tired and with puffy eyes..she smiled and said I was lovely and she had noticed my lovely dark hair (chocolate, remember..) and that I had very pretty, intense blue eyes. She said I shouldn't he hard on myself..come on, what woman isn't???

Anyway, I undressed and lay under my towels, enjoyed the warm dimly lit room, with candles and soothing music, and Charlotte opened jars of cream, cleansers, toners etc. What did I want most from this facial she asked? Oh, I said, just take 10 years off me, that'll do...

75 minutes later I had relaxed, slept, been cleaned, exfoliated, creamed, massaged and opened my eyes feeling amazing...she said I had good skin, still firm, but yes, it looked stressed and I needed more sleep and to drink more water! (Not hard, I hardly drink any!)

I drove home, had a shower and washed my hair, put make up on my newly cleaned face and set off to a One World Week service to represent my charity (sorry, can't name it, too risky...) I took my seat on the front row, ready to take part, when in came the Deputy Mayor and was seated next to me, a very nice lady who was pleased to have someone to talk to. We chatted easily, and I noted how relaxed and happy I was feeling, as opposed to stressed and very antisocial. She talked to me about her children, and I asked the usual questions. She then asked how old my children were. Well, James has just turned 32, I said, and she actually jumped! What, she said, 32? Yes. I was very young when I had him, I smiled, trotting out my usual line... yes, but not like, 10, she said. Well, no, obviously not... But seriously, she said, I am 42, I thought you were about the same age as me, really. I laughed. Well, I thought, I must let Charlotte know that she has not just taken 10 years off me, but 13!!!!!!!

Then it got better...

Yes, the weekend was better. A combination of me feeling much, much better by Friday, and the fact that I am driving again, and life is back up to speed, if you will excuse the pun! I got used to not going anywhere if I didn't have to, and having to be driven if I did have to....

Saturday morning I got up early and was in town for a 9am luxury manicure, which was relaxing, good for my hands and my nails looked lvoely...all part of the 'look after yourself, cos you're worth it,' campaign! I came out into the sunlight, a lovely bright autumn day and walked right into Gary, an old theatre colleague, who immediately invited me for coffee as we haven't really seen each other for over a year. The cappucino was gorgeous and we chatted and caught up and had a great time.

Then I had to go..to get round to my friend Jacky's for my 11am coffee appointment! Her daughter has just moved into her very own flat, so we headed for coffee round there and a good look round... all very sociable, and I drove home in time for lunch, valuing my independence and really enjoying driving again....

Saturday evening I was driving again..this time it was payback for my business partner for all the driving her has done for me this year, I drove him to a post festival drinks party, organised at last by the committee who employed us to deliver their festival in July....a lifetime ago now!

We went to the most wonderful house in a lvoely village in Essex..don't know if it was an old vicarage, or squire's house, but it was posh! We had drinks and canapes and hugged each other like old friends and reminisced about the festival..I carefully batted aside questions about future plans and what festival we are working on next....

The drinks evening ended relatively early, after lots of talk and laughter and encouraging news about another event planned in two years..which they may want us to be involved in..well, watch this space.

We hadn't eaten, and so found a very nice Chinese/Thai on the way home, and ate and talked about our respective children, and work, before driving home (I drove!), both grateful for a pleasant, civilised evening. Who would have thought!!!

Sunday was lvoely weather too, and I spent the morning running a charity stall at a local farmers' market, selling my Christmas cards and puddings...it was good fun. On going home I discovered James, Laura and Mec round for the afternoon, and we sat about, ate, played on our iphones and laptops, read papers and had a good time. Now that is what Sundays are for....

Words to describe a week in the life of......

Monday... not a good day... forgot my phone... got cross with someone... got upset with someone... too upset to go into an important meeting... tears... shouting... talking... am I being lied to still? What am I supposed to do here? Who am I in all this? A feeling of calm after the storm...

Tuesday... busy training volunteers... a good day.. better than the day last week when I felt crap and depressed and tearful and was training on...depression... !! this week values and attitudes, prejudices, class, culture, interesting stuff coming from the group... then a business planning meeting all evening, hard work, but we got somewhere..who will write up the business plan? Oh, that'll be me then...

Wednesday.. heard I have a new training role in the national organisation... doing 6 days a year induction training.. means a three night residential in... Cheltenham!!! in November... things are looking up... went swimming late on, instead of going in the chilly lane pool as usual, Viv and I went in the casual pool, free of children..it was gloriously warm and relaxing, chilled music was playing, and we swam and relaxed, and watched the men gathering at one end of the pool and going into the steam room together... mmmm...

Thursday, feeling better, sleeping better, getting through work... went to my counselling..didn't cry! Yay!

Friday, spoke at a lunch on how my bereavement counselling helped me, in support of the charity which provided it. Sat with a Solicitor, a Vicar, a Bishop and a Lady. Asked the Bishop if he had ever been to Gre*nb*lt! He hadn't... was on good form..think I spoke well, with humour but honesty.. people were moved... touched... I felt brave... then walked back to the office and thought, I could do with a hug...I had a cup of tea and a biscuit instead... did some work, then had my hair cut. Went home. Dyed it chocolate brown. It might look crap but it tastes yummy....

Feeling ok. Sad, but ok. Life will go on.

A musical weekend..part two

Sunday evening saw me taking my little friend Mandy to my favourite folk club..well, she is a friend's daughter, she is 23 and we get on like a house on fire, and I used to teach her the guitar, I introduced her to folk music. She said she had never been to a folk club so I treated her to an evening with Chris While and Julie Matthews, two of the most talented singer songwriters I have ever heard. They put all of their life experiences into their songs and sing them from the heart..... the chorus of one sing cut me to the quick..
'How can I go on? How can I manage? When loving you leaves me like storm damage?' Come on girls, we can all identify with that....

I had to buy their new album, Together Alone, and I can play it in the car while I am driving..did I mention I was driving again???? I saw the lvoely Caroline there..a pleasure as always, and it's good to share a hug....